Long Road to Ruin
by Lady MSM
Summary: Maglor's return from Alqualonde causes some major changes in the House of Feanor. Sequel to "The Young and the Hopeless."
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, everybody, and welcome to yet another sequel to "Smells like Teen Spirit."The only** **major difference in this one is that instead of just telling it from one point of view, I'm switching off between three. Hopefully it won't get too confusing. Enjoy!**

**Long Road to Ruin**

_I'm just a kid, and life is a nightmare…_

_-Simple Plan_

**Chapter 1: Ace of Spades**

**(Celegorm)**

"_I'm ho-ome!_"

It took me a second to figure out who was yelling. Then I remembered: _Oh, yeah. Maglor_. My loudmouthed, too-cool-for-school older brother who'd run off to Alqualonde the previous fall and who none of us had ever really expected to see again. What was he doing home, anyway? He hadn't been scheduled to return until the end of the summer.

Just because I was curious, I got out of my very comfortable seat in the living room and went to go greet (well, greet and insult) my brother.

Maedhros and Maglor were standing in the entrance hall with their bags (why they couldn't carry the bags up to their rooms like normal people, I didn't know). Maedhros was leaning against the wall messing with his fingernails; Maglor was kneeling on the ground with his back toward me, digging through a bag.

"You know," I said, "maybe you should have checked to see if you'd forgotten anything _before _you left Alqualonde. That would have made a lot more sense."

Maglor stood up and raised an eyebrow at me. "And since _when_ do I do anything sensible?"

"Wow," I said, going somewhat off-topic. "You look different."

He did, too. Before he'd left for Alqualonde, Maglor looked like your typical gangly, awkward punk—too skinny, too pale, messy hair, bad posture, the whole shebang. Not too impressive. Now, however, he'd gained some weight, gotten taller, and, for some reason, had streaks of bright gold in his hair. He actually looked kinda good.

Maglor snorted. "Yeah, that's cuz I dyed my hair and got my ear pierced. Nothing gets past you, eagle eyes."

Well, at least _that _hadn't changed. You could take away the awkwardness and you could take away the lack of self-confidence, but the attitude would always be there.

"Who's got their ear pierced?" demanded Mom, hurrying into the entrance hall. When she saw Maglor, she gasped, burst into tears, and threw her arms around him.

"Maglor, Maglor, I thought I might never see ye again!" she sobbed.

"Yeah, Mom, missed you too," said Maglor, patting her on the back and looking a mixture of freaked out and amused. "So…how's stuff at home been?"

"Not the same without ye," said Mom. "Sure and we just can't function when yer not around, me boy."

"That's what I said," said Maedhros. "And that's how I convinced him to come home early."

"Oh, so _that's_ what happened," I said. "I'd been wondering about that. Now, getting back to Mom's original question, apparently Maglor got his ear pierced. I haven't seen it yet, though."

"I'll show you, as soon as Mom lets go of me," said Maglor, looking at Mom pointedly. She quickly released him and folded her arms.

"Well, let's see it, then," she said.

"All righty." Maglor pushed back his hair to reveal a gold ring in his left ear. Mom gasped again.

"Did you do that yourself?" I asked.

"Nope, my buddy Dirgon did when we were up north. He's a genius. I think you should consider adopting him once Dad disowns me, Mom."

"Oh, come on, Dad's not gonna disown you, Maglor," said Maedhros.

"Bro, it's an inevitability. Either I drive him completely insane, or he disowns me. Those are the only choices."

"Is there a reason that everyone's yelling when I'm trying to _read_?" demanded my younger brother Caranthir, stomping into the room. Caranthir's a total nerd—always reading, never doing anything fun. He's not too pleasant to have around.

"Oh, yeah, sure, why don't you _read_ all the time," said Maglor sarcastically. "It's not like it's _summer _or anything. Sheesh, dude! Get a freaking life!"

"Well, well, look who's home," said Caranthir. "What happened to your hair?"

"My hair is freaking awesome. Why don't you shut up?"

"Boys, stop fighting," ordered Mom. "I'm not having me family fighting like cats and dogs on the first day we're all reunited. Where's yer father, anyway?"

"I'm right here," said Dad tiredly, joining us in the entrance hall. "What on _earth _is going on?"

I saw Maglor stiffen a little at Dad's arrival. Dad and Maglor didn't have a very good relationship, seeing as Dad thought that Maglor was a dangerous troublemaker and Maglor thought Dad was an old-fashioned idiot.

"What's going on, Dad, is that I'm home," Maglor said slowly. "And now I suppose you're going to roll your eyes and say that I don't have enough follow-through to finish _anything_ and I'll never make anything of myself, even though I left Alqualonde early because Maedhros told me the family was falling apart without me and I missed you guys."

Dad looked at Maglor and shook his head. "Where on _earth _do you get these ideas, boy?"

And then he went up to Maglor and hugged him.

This, of course, was somewhat of a shock, since Dad usually didn't hug people, and _especially _not Maglor. Even Mom was surprised.

"Um…okay," said Maglor when Dad was done hugging him. "Yeah. Missed you too, Dad."

"I hope you learned a lot," said Dad, going back to his usual stern self.

"Well, I learned how to cure a hangover and how to stay up for forty-eight hours without getting tired," said Maglor. "Does that count?"

Caranthir cracked a smile at that, but quickly hid it before anyone other than me noticed.

"How to cure a _hangover_?" said Mom. "Maglor, sure and ye weren't drinking, were ye?"

"No, of course he wasn't, Mom," said Maedhros sarcastically. "Because of course it's possible to get a hangover without drinking."

"Hey, I was going to say that," said Maglor. "You know, I _invented _being sarcastic."

"Right, of course you did," I said. "Even though you're fifteen and sarcasm has been around since before Dad's day."

"Go to hell."

"Whoa, whoa," said Dad. "You've just gotten home, so I'm going to be more lenient with you, but I'm not having that kind of language around here. There are people a lot younger than you in this house."

Maglor muttered something very rude-sounding under his breath.

"None of that, either," ordered Mom. "Well, shall we have some lunch, then? You boys must be starving."

"Mom, I'm _always _starving," said Maedhros. "Can't speak for this guy, though."

"Maedhros, just because I'm skinny doesn't mean I don't eat," said Maglor. "Lunch sounds good, Mom."

"Excellent," said Mom. "You boys go put your bags away and sit down. I'll get everything ready."

"So, tell me, ratface," Maglor said to me as he picked up his bags and we headed upstairs. "How've you been without me to make fun of? I imagine it's been difficult."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't flatter yourself. You're not the only weirdo around here, ya know."

"But I'm definitely the weirdest person you know. You can't even deny that."

"Maybe that's why your girlfriend broke up with you."

"Okay, you know what?" snapped Maglor.

"Guys, come on, shut up," said Maedhros. "Mom's right, we shouldn't be fighting until we've been home for at least an hour."

"Whatever. I'm just tired and hungry," sighed Maglor. "I hope Mom makes potato soup for lunch. I haven't had decent potato soup in ages."

"I hope she makes steak," said Maedhros dreamily.

"Dude, first of all, steak is gross, and second of all, who eats steak for lunch? No one. It's way more of a supper thing."

This would be a good time to explain what is possibly the weirdest thing about my dear brother Maglor: He's a vegetarian. Doesn't eat meat or birds of any kind, and hasn't since he was nine. His reasoning for this is that he doesn't like meat, and why would he want to kill some dumb animal that never did anything to him? I've tried to tell him that that isn't the _point_, that you're supposed to have _fun _hunting, but it doesn't work. I seriously do _not _understand that guy.

"Steak is awesome," I said. "You're just delusional."

"SUCYAI," said Maglor coolly.

"Why do you always talk in acronyms? You know perfectly well that the rest of us can't understand you."

"_Exactly_," Maglor said, giving me his evilest grin. "And what I said was, 'Shut Up Celegorm, You're An Idiot."

"Right on," said Maedhros, high-fiving him.

I rolled my eyes. "Way to gang up on me. Losers."

"I challenge your definition of 'loser'," snarled Maglor.

"I challenge your challenge," replied Maedhros.

"Shut up. I invented challenging things."

"Right. Of course you did. Just like I invented dirt."

"You _did _invent dirty jokes," I said. "Or at least it seems like you did."

"Speaking of dirty jokes, here's a joke," said Maedhros. "There's two loaves of bread in an oven. One says, 'Boy, it's hot in here.' The other says, 'Holy shit, a talking loaf of bread!'"

Maglor, mature adult that he was, doubled over with laughter. I raised an eyebrow at Maedhros. "That wasn't dirty. And it wasn't even that funny."

"Then why is Maglor laughing?" asked Maedhros.

"Maglor thinks _everything _is funny. He laughed when he caused that fire that burned down half the forge, remember?"

"The irony of it was beautiful. I couldn't help it," said Maglor, stopping mid-laugh. "But Dad still made me continue my apprenticeship. I figured I'd have to burn down the freakin' _house _to get out of it."

"And all it really took was for you to run away from home and study music with some weird Alqualonde guy for a year," said Maedhros. "Life is strange."

"As are you guys," I said. "I'm outta here."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: I Love Rock and Roll**

**(Maglor)**

Seeing as it's kind of tradition for me to start off with a list, here's this one. It's self-explanatory. Enjoy.

**Maglor Feanorion's Rules of Life**

1. Losers conform.

2. Don't trust the grown-ups.

3. PLAY IT LOUD.

And that's that. Follow those rules and you'll be happy. You're welcome. Now, back to the show.

Home looked exactly like I remembered it, except for a rather large brown stain on the couch that hadn't been there before. When I asked Maedhros how it happened, he shook his head. "Don't ask, man."

"Aw, come on. Tell me."

"Okay, let's just say it involved tea, Celegorm, and the dog. And Dad being very angry."

I grinned. "I think I can guess what happened. Ah, I've missed it here."

"Yup, home sweet hell."

"No one went in my room, right?" I asked, trying to open the door to said room. The knob always stuck, so you had to wiggle it a little. This didn't happen in any of the other guys' rooms. More proof of how much Dad loved me.

"Are you kidding? You're the only one that can get the door open."

"Yeah, well, that's 'cause I got practice." I gave the knob one sharp twist to the right and the door opened.

Ah…my beautiful mess of a room, strewn (isn't that a cool word?) with paper and clothes all over the floor, with absolutely no rhyme or reason. No half-empty room in Alqualonde could compare to this.

And of course, lying on my bed was my beloved lute, AYN (that stands for As Yet Unnamed, since I couldn't think of a good name), which I'd forgotten to take with me to Aule's house and therefore also hadn't taken to Alqualonde. And damn, had I missed it.

"Hey, AYN!" I said, picking my lute up. "I missed you."

Maedhros snorted. "You love that stupid thing more than you love your own family."

"Well, _some _members of my family," I agreed. "More than the C's, definitely. And maybe Dad. Probably about the same as the twins. I love you and Mom a little more, if that's any comfort."

"It is, it really is. Now let's go downstairs. I'm hungry."

As soon as we got downstairs I smelled the most wonderful smell in the world (with the possible exception of coffee): Potato soup. Hell yeah. Best food _ever_. Especially my mom's. Beautiful, creamy, potato-y potato soup. Mmmm.

I wonder if there's something wrong with me. All I ever think about is food or music.

"Ha. Told ya it wasn't steak," I said to Maedhros.

"Whatever. This is good too."

"Hey, you are NOT allowed to start loving potato soup more than all other foods. That's my thing."

"Why do you always say stuff like that, like you own it?"

"Dude, I'm kidding. Obviously you can love potato soup. But just remember that I loved it _before _it was cool."

"Are ye two hungry?" asked Mom, smiling knowingly as we sat down at the table.

"Mom," I said. "You made potato soup. How could I _not _be hungry?"

"Mom," said Maedhros. "You made food. I'm _always _hungry. As I've previously pointed out."

"You're sad," said Caranthir.

"And you're a nerd. Who's better off?" I asked.

"Why do you always defend him?" asked Celegorm.

"Because the nicer I am to him, the more he owes me. And someday I'm going to ask him for a HUGE favor, and he's not going to be able to refuse."

"That's creepy," said Maedhros.

"Which was the point." I started to sit down, but was interrupted by my twin four-year-old brothers, Amrod and Amras, who ran up to me and grabbed my legs.

"Yay! Maglor's home!" they both yelled at the same time.

I love the twins. Have I mentioned that?

"Hey, little dudes," I said. "You been good while I've been gone?"

"Um…no!" laughed Amrod.

"Right on. Fight the power," I said. "Now, can you please let go of me? I'm hungry and I need to sit down and eat."

"Okay?" said Amras letting go of my legs. Amras was turning into an uptalker—one of those people who always talk in questions. I'm sure you know the type. Normally it's girls that are uptalkers, but Amras was definitely a male one. I wasn't sure how this would affect his chances of ever getting a date in future life.

"I'm not havin' ye encourage me children to misbehave, Maglor," Mom said. "Now here. Eat up." She spooned a ton of delicious potato soup into my bowl.

"Mmm…" I said, eating a huge spoonful. "Total FO." (FO stands for Food Orgasm. Try not to use this acronym when children are around)

"What's FO stand for?" asked Amrod.

"Um…I'll tell you when you're older," I said.

"Hey, Mom, where's Curufin and Dad?" asked Maedhros. "Messing around in the forge?"

"Probably," said Mom. "Sure and it figures, they'd prefer to be around metal and jewels than their own family…"

"Cool it, Mom, we're here," said eight-year-old Curufin, sauntering into the room with my dad close behind him. Curufin was my dad's favorite and totally knew it. He used to really piss me off, before I realized that anyone who Dad worshipped that much had to be totally lame.

"Well, look who's back," smirked Curufin when he saw me. "Realize that you suck at music too? You're so pathetic."

He obviously expected me to cuss him out like I usually did (which is something I'm very good at, I'll admit), but I didn't. Instead, I laughed.

"Dude, you've lived with me for eight years, you _know _I don't suck at music. And as for my being pathetic, I just pulled off a kickass gig and got half the girls in Alqualonde to fall in love with me. When's the last time _you _did anything like that?"

There was a brief silence, in which I'm sure everyone was thinking that I was nuts.

Finally Curufin whistled and sat down. "Whoa, bro. Have you changed or what!"

"I don't know. Have I?"

"Boys, stop arguing," said Dad, sitting down. "Ah, Nerdanel. I see you've made your wonderful potato soup again."

"Which we had _last_ night," muttered Caranthir.

"Well, I made it again since I know Maglor loves it," said Mom firmly. "Sure and I think the boy deserves a good meal; he probably didn't get any good food in Alqualonde!"

"Actually, I feasted like a king, but who cares about that? Seconds, please," I said, holding out my bowl.

Maedhros laughed. "You're nuts, dude."

"Most awesome people are."

"So anyway, Maglor," said Dad, obviously trying to stop this conversation before it got too random, "tell us more about what happened in Alqualonde."

"You sure you wanna know?" I asked. "Some of it might not be appropriate for the shorter people around here."

"Did you do bad stuff?" asked Amrod.

"Kind of," I said. "Mostly I just went to a couple of wild parties and kissed a few girls. Oh, and I also learned to play the fiddle and the harp. I'm not very good at the latter. Apparently I have too much nervous energy."

"I've noticed that," said Celegorm. "I mean, look at yourself. You've been tapping your fingers on the table for the entire meal and you probably haven't even noticed."

I looked down at my left hand. Sure enough, I was tapping my fingers on the table. "Holy crap. Do I always do that?"

"You do it a lot," said Curufin. "I'm surprised you never noticed before this."

"I'm always too busy noticing the stupid things other people do, I guess. And boy oh boy, do you do a lot of them."

After a lot more arguing and soup, lunch finally ended, and I could escape to my room for some much-needed alone time. When I got to said room, I slammed the door shut, opened my window, and looked down at my beloved home city of Tirion.

Now, I've been a lot of places since I was fifteen. Some of them were cool. Some of them sucked. But I gotta say, when it comes right down to it, Tirion is the best place I've ever lived or ever will. Alqualonde is a very close second, though.

I lived on the North Side, which was basically the rich part of town. My grandpa, King Finwe, lived in the very north-est part of the north side, and my family and all our relatives lived pretty close by. Various other aristocratic families that I tended to avoid lived slightly further down. The further south you lived in the city, the poorer you were, with the very poorest living by the city gates at the very edge of the city. The whole shebang was situated on the great hill of Tuna, which we fondly dubbed Fish Hill.

From my window I could see my uncle Fingolfin's house (where Maedhros' best buddy and sidekick Fingon lived), the North Side park, and what appeared to be a dead squirrel in the street. I could also see the house of some rich family who had a bitchy daughter named Marvana who once hit me when we were, like, five. Ever since then, I had avoided her like the plague.

I have a lot of bad experiences with Noldorin girls, as I'm sure you've figured out.

Anyway, I looked out my window some more, took a breath of fresh air, and grinned.

Screw alone time. I had a city to re-explore.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Higher Ground**

**(Maedhros)**

Home sweet home.

Yes, if by "home" you mean "ginormous North Side mansion that's _still _too small for seven kids, two parents, a huge dog, and several servants" and by "sweet" you mean "insane and very loud."

Of course, I hadn't even been away from home that often. I'd left about three days earlier to go see Maglor's first official gig (which was amazing; more about that later) and convince him to come home so things could go back to normal again. Seriously, I'd never thought Maglor had that much importance in our family, but when he was gone, all hell broke loose.

So anyway, yeah. Home sweet home. Here I was, and boy, did I need to get out for a while. I love my family, but they can be really annoying sometimes. Therefore, I did what I always did: rounded up Fingon and the rest of my friends and went down to the swimming hole.

"Okay, dude, where you been for the last couple days?" asked my buddy Eriol (total player; at this point in time I think he was dating three girls at the same time). "Haven't seen you around."

"Yeah, and you _really _missed him, didn't 'cha, Eriol," said Fingon, elbowing him. Eriol, of course, punched him back, and the two got into a brief fistfight.

"_Anyway_," I said. "Enough of that. Me and Fingon were in Alqualonde."

"Why were you _there_?" asked Dan (yes, his name was just Dan. He had two older brothers, so I think his parents were getting a little lazy by the time they named him). "Doesn't everyone in Alqualonde, like, pierce their noses and smoke weird stuff?"

"I hear the girls are pretty hot, though," commented Eriol.

"Shut up, you horny asshole" I said. "We were there to see my brother Maglor's first official gig and then convince him to come back home because without Maglor around to yell at my dad had no outlet for his anger so he took it out on _us_."

"Dude, your brother's weird," said Narquel (aka Narc), shaking his head.

"Yeah, but he's a _really _good singer," said Fingon. "Someday he's gonna be richer than all of us."

"That's a scary thought," said Dan.

"Okay, why are we talking about Maedhros' weird brother when we _could _be talking about more important things?" asked Eriol. "Guess who I have a date with tonight?"

"Let's see…it's not Tarimire, Maikavin, or Anarya, is it?" I asked.

"Nope. I dumped Tari and Maika…they were getting too clingy, and I think they might have been starting to suspect that each other existed. Anarya's still good, though…think I'll keep her around for a little longer."

"You're a womanizing asshole, man," Dan said. "I mean, I'm jealous of you and all, but seriously. You have issues."

"So maybe I'm just too much man for one girl, ever thought about _that_?"

"Okay, so who do you have a date with?" prompted Narc.

Eriol grinned evilly. "Minya."

We all gasped and looked appropriately awed. "No _way_, man!" said Fingon. "_The _Minya?"

"Hell yeah, _the _Minya," said Eriol, looking very pleased with himself. "She was all over me at that party last week."

"Sweet," I say. "I didn't go to that…was it fun?"

"Meh, it was okay," said Eriol, shrugging. "The music sucked."

"Well, we're Noldor. What do you expect?" said Narc. "None of us know shit about music."

"I know stuff about politics," I offered.

"I know stuff about food," said Fingon.

"I know stuff about girls," said Eriol.

"I know nothing," said Dan. "So ha."

"Dan, that's not something you're supposed to be proud of," said Fingon. "What would your dad say?"

Dan shrugged. "Who knows? I hardly ever see the guy. He works, like, 24/7."

"Same here," I said. "My dad's a workaholic."

"_My _dad is way too clingy," said Narc. "He keeps trying to have 'guy talks' with me. Like I really want to talk about personal stuff with my _dad_."

"All parents suck," said Eriol, shaking his head. "Remind me not to have kids."

"Well, with all your girlfriends, aren't kids kind of an inevitability?" I said. He punched me.

"Anyhoo," said Fingon. "My kid sister Aredhel nearly got stomped on by a horse the other day."

"That chick is nuts," said Dan. "She thinks she's a dude."

"She's more of a dude than you," said Narc, grinning.

"Stop interrupting me!" snapped Fingon. "I'm trying to tell a funny story here!"

"Speaking of which, I've got a funny story…oh, go ahead, Fingon," I said. "But hurry up. Other people want to talk."

"Okay, so I was hanging around in the stables, right? Because it's way quieter there than in my house. So in comes Aredhel, and she's like, 'Hey Fingon. Can I pet Millionaire?' And I'm like 'Hell no,' 'cause you all know that Millionaire's like my dad's most prized horse and plus he's totally vicious. And she says, 'Whatever. I'm going to.' So then she actually _does_, and Millionaire, he almost bites her hand, and then she kind of trips and falls over because she's so surprised, and Millionaire's about to stomp her, and I just manage to get in there and save her sorry ass before she gets her leg broken."

"Who would name their horse Millionaire?" said Eriol. "You're just asking for trouble that way."

"I didn't name it. My dad did, when he was my age."

"He was probably drunk," I said. "Anyway, time for my thing. So there's these people at a dinner party. And they're arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. 'No woman,' says one guy, 'can keep a secret.'

"'I don't know about that,' says this blond chick. 'I've kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.'

"'You'll let it out some day,' the guy says.

"'I hardly think so!' says the blonde chick. 'When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever.'"

"I don't get it," said Narc.

"I did," said Eriol. "Not dirty enough for my taste, but it was still funny."

"You've gone downhill in the dirty joke department, my man," said Fingon.

Narc laughed. "Hey, I just got it! She's forty-eight."

"Yes, Narc, that was the joke," said Dan, rolling his eyes. "I thought _I _was the one who knew nothing."

"You know nothing; he understands nothing," explained Eriol. "There's a difference."

"Now that we know that, what do we do?" I asked.

"We par-_tay_, man!" whooped Narc. "Speaking of which, I'm having a party day after tomorrow. You guys are coming, right?"

"Sure thing," said Fingon. "If I can lie convincingly to my parents."

"I don't have to lie to my parents," I said smugly. "My dad doesn't care what I do. And my mother is too busy dealing with my brothers."

"Your mom's hot," commented Eriol. I, of course, punched him.

"Yeah, but she has a weird accent," said Dan.

"That's because she's from up north," said Fingon. "Beer country."

"Ooh," said Narc. "We should go there."

"We go there every fall," I said. "It's pretty cool. Lots of sheep."

"Hot girls?" asked Eriol.

"Is that all you ever think about?"

"Um…no. I think about food sometimes, does that count?"

"Not really," said Fingon. "Everyone thinks about food."

"On a completely unrelated note, what time is it?" I said. "Mom wants me home by three."

"Well, judging by the amount of daylight left, you're a half hour late," said Narc, genius that he was. "You better run, dude."

Since my mom was kind of weird about being on time, I quickly got out of the hole, dried off, and ran back to the North Side. As I was going into the house, I ran into Maglor on his way out.

"Hey," I said. "Where are you going?"

He shrugged. "Gonna go re-explore some. Nothing to do inside."

"I thought that everyone in Tirion was an annoying snob and that the whole city was just a way for everyone to show off how much money they have?"

"Well, it's more interesting than my room, especially seeing as I have no money."

"Hmm. Makes sense," I said.

"So," said Maglor. "Before I leave and wreak havoc on the unsuspecting townspeople, mind if I ask why your pants are all wet?"

"Oh, yeah, that. I was down at the swimming hole with the guys," I explained. "Probably shoulda brought a change of clothes."

"How true. Is Eriol still going out with three girls?"

"Wait. How did you know about that?"

Maglor grinned. "I know all, my friend. Being invisible has its advantages."

"Good point. Hey, that reminds me. My buddy Narc is having a party in a couple days, and I'm gonna go…do you want to come?"

"Would I be welcome?" asked Maglor, raising an eyebrow. "I don't exactly get along with your friends. Remember when you had that party where everyone got really drunk, and one of the windows got broken, and I kinda told Mom and Dad about it and then your friends beat me up?"

"How could I forget that? But don't worry, man, they'll accept you more now. You've changed a lot."

"True dat," said Maglor, nodding. "Well, I'll think about it. Peace out."

_Wait a minute, bro_, said my inner paranoid voice. _You sure this is a good idea, bringing your new-and-improved brother to Narc's party? He might upstage you._

I ignored it. After all, I was _Maedhros_. The hottest, most popular guy in Tirion. No way could Maglor, different as he was now, upstage _me_.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: You Got Another Thing Comin'**

**(Maglor)**

_Hmm_…I thought. _This all seems oddly familiar_.

Of course, it should have, since I'd lived in Tirion for fifteen, almost sixteen years. But still.

It was a weirdly nice day, the kind we usually didn't get on Fish Hill (no ocean=more weather extremes). Fortunately, after more than five years, I'd evolved to the point where I could wear black on the hottest of days and not be the slightest bit uncomfortable. Feel free to be jealous.

There was no one out on the street that day—probably most of them were in the town square, where everyone went during the summer to gossip and be incredibly loud. I decided to head in that direction.

"Ah, yes, Tirion on a summer day," I said out loud because I do that sometimes. "Nothing more un-freezing than that."

"I'll agree with you on _that_," said a female voice from behind me.

I turned around cautiously, and could barely keep myself from cringing when I saw who it was. Marvana, Bitchy Neighbor Girl Extraordinaire. What fun.

"Um…hey, Marvana," I said. "How you been?"

She frowned for a moment, then shook her head and laughed. "Oh my Gods, I didn't even _recognize _you! Maglor, you look so _different_!"

"Well, we haven't acknowledged each other's presence in what, ten years?" I said. "I imagine I look much different than I did when I was five."

"Pfft, just because we never spoke to each other doesn't mean I never noticed you," said Marvana. "Honey, you look _great_! _I _should spend a year in Alqualonde sometime."

_That would be just fine with me_, I thought. _Why don't you go now_? But since I was trying to be nice, I didn't say that. Instead, I said: "Yeah. It's pretty cool there. How did you know I was in Alqualonde anyway?"

"Oh, these things get out," she said breezily. "Someone as observant as you should know how fast the rumor mill in Tirion works.

"Especially since I started half those rumors," I agreed.

"You did?"

"Yep. Remember how a couple summers ago everyone thought that if you mixed saltwater with your wine you wouldn't have as bad of a hangover? That was totally my idea."

Marvana made a face. "It didn't work, though. And OMG, did it taste bad."

"That was what I was going for. I also started that rumor seven years ago that Maedhros' friend Eriol was cheating on the first girlfriend he ever had. Which turned out to be true."

"Well, aren't you the bad boy."

"Don't patronize me, sister. I get enough of that at home."

"Sorry. I didn't mean anything by it."

"That's okay." I paused, trying to think of a way I could get out of this conversation. "Um…well, I think I'd better get on my way, I've got a lot of havoc to wreak and…"

"What direction are you heading in?" asked Marvana, proving herself to be incapable of taking a hint.

"Um, I'm going to the town square…"

"Oh, so am I! Come on, let's go together. You can hang out with me and my friends."

_Shit. Trapped._

"Well…um…okay, fine, sure," I said, hoping that not _all _of Marvana's friends were snooty rich kids. I knew enough of those to last me all of eternity.

Unfortunately, I did not have such luck. Marvana's friends were rich kids of the very richest and snootiest variety, and they did _not _look pleased to see me.

"Who's he?" asked some blond guy.

"Oh, you guys know Maglor, right? He lives up the street from me," said Marvana.

A skinny brunette girl sniffed. "You mean that creepy goth kid?"

"'Creepy goth kid' is such a strong phase," I said. "I prefer the term 'nonconformist'."

Another super-skinny, kind of ditzy-looking girl giggled. "You're funny."

"That's good to know," I said. "Am I also charming? That's another thing I've been wondering about lately."

"Well…" said another guy, "we can't exactly answer that since we don't know you."

Joy. I was hanging out with a bunch of snotty rich kids who didn't understand sarcasm. What had I done to deserve this?

"Dude, I was kidding," I said.

"So…how do you know Marvana?" asked the brunette girl.

"She b…" I started to say "She beat me up when I was five", but Marvana interrupted.

"We know each other from way back," she said.

"Cool," said the blond girl. "So why haven't we seen you for the past year?"

"I was…" I began, but Marvana cut me off again.

"He was in Alqualonde studying music. He's totally gonna be famous in, like, a year."

"You know, Marvana, I may not be the smartest guy in the world," I said. "In fact, I'm probably one of the dumbest. But strange as it may seem, I _am _capable of speaking for myself. Okay?"

"Oh, I was just…" Marvana started to say, but _I _cut her off this time.

"Whatever. I have to go. Nice meeting all of you, except I suppose it doesn't count as meeting since I don't know any of your names. Bye."

_A job well done, my friend_, I thought as I got the hell outta there.

The rest of the town square was refreshingly snotty-rich-kid free—mostly working-class moms gossiping with vendors and kids younger than me playing ball. I grinned. These were my people.

I chose a nice, sunny corner of the square from which to spy on everyone, and sat down. My plan was to hang out here and people-watch until I got insanely hungry, at which point I'd go and flirt with the girl at the sandwich stand to see if she'd give me free food. Yep, that's my idea of a good time. I'm such a nerd.

There was a group of prepubescent kids playing stickball a few yards away from me. I'd never played that as a kid. It was considered "common." As a result, I had no idea what was going on in the game, but it looked like the team being led by a scruffy-looking kid with brown hair was winning. I was kind of silently rooting for Scruffy and company. They looked like underdogs, which I could relate to.

In about half an hour, the game was over (Scruffy's team won) and the small crowd of kids who had been watching dispersed. I hung around, mostly because I wasn't hungry yet. As I was sitting and waiting to get hungry, a little girl who looked kind of like Scruffy came up to me.

"You've got pretty hair," she said.

"Thanks, little sister," I said, patting her on the shoulder. "So do you." (I was kind of lying here—her hair looked like it hadn't been washed in a week—but I was trying to be nice).

"Why's it two colors?" she asked.

"I'm special like that," I said. I didn't explain how my good buddy Melania from Alqualonde dyed it, because she probably wouldn't have understood.

At that point, a rather worried-looking Scruffy hurried over and picked up the little girl. "Vinnie, what're you doing? I told you not to talk to strangers."

"It's cool, man," I said. "She was just asking me about how I got my hair dyed. No harm done."

Scruffy frowned. "Hey, you look kinda familiar. Have I seen you around here before?"

"Probably," I said. "I used to hang out here a lot, before I went to Alqualonde last year."

"Huh," said Scruffy. "And what's your name?"

"My friends call me Hotshot," I said, not giving my real name. I didn't want to go through the whole "holy crap you're royalty" thing just yet.

"Well, Hotshot," said Scruffy, "I'm Haralyo. How old are you?"

"Almost sixteen," I said. "Actually, I'll turn sixteen in two weeks—hopefully, at least someone in my family will remember."

"Neglectful parents, hey?" laughed Scruffy (oops, I meant Haralyo. I had to stop thinking of him as Scruffy). "Yeah, I've been there. I'm just turned thirteen. Vinnie here's only four, and so I have to look out for her."

"I got some little brothers myself," I said. "They're freakin' nuts, but damnit, I love them."

"Don't I know how that is," said Haralyo (see? I didn't call him Scruffy this time). "Look, Hotshot, you seem like a pretty rad guy. You and me, we could get along pretty well."

"You're not going to try to get me to pick pockets, are you?" I said. "Because I don't do that, man."

"No way. I may be poor but I don't break the law," said Haralyo proudly. "But seriously, come hang out with us sometime. We can play ball."

"Okay, but I warn you, I have no hand-eye coordination," I said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go try to charm the girl at the sandwich stand into giving me free food. I was able to do it in Alqualonde, but I'm not sure if Tirion girls will be more immune to me."

"Bye, Hotshot!" said Vinnie.

"Bye, Vin. Don't let your brother do anything stupid, okay?" I messed up her hair and walked over to the sandwich stand.

"Hey," I said to the girl working there. She was cute, with dark brown hair and green eyes. "What's up?"

She smiled at me. "Nothing really. Selling sandwiches, mostly."

"Really? I never would have guessed."

"So…are you from around here? Because I don't think I've met you before."

"Actually, yeah, I grew up here. But I just got back from spending a year in Alqualonde and pretty much no one recognizes me anymore. Apparently I haven't always been this sexy."

"You don't say," said the girl. I took it as a good sign that she was still smiling. Perhaps I'd get some free food out of this yet. "So do you want a sandwich?"

"Oh, yeah, that'd be cool." I placed my order and hummed to myself while the girl got it ready. I would have whistled, but I've never been able to whistle. My teeth aren't in the right place or something.

"Here ya go," said the girl, handing me my sandwich. "Enjoy."

"Mmm, it looks almost as good as you do," I said. "Except that it's a sandwich, and you're not."

She laughed. "Nice. Hey, tell you what, since I like you, you can have this for half price, okay? But don't tell anyone."

"My lips are sealed," I said. "See you around!"

It wasn't until I was a couple minutes away that the following hit me.

Maedhros had invited me to one of his friends' parties.

Marvana was nice to me.

Some random kid I had just met invited me to hang out with his friends.

A girl gave me a sandwich for half price.

"Holy crap," I muttered. "I'm freaking popular!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: No One Knows**

**(Celegorm)**

"Celegorm?" asked Amras. "How do babies get made?"

"Why do you care?" I said irritably. "You don't have to worry about that for years."

I wasn't in the best mood that afternoon, because Caranthir had been pissing me off earlier and I slugged him just as Mom walked into the room. As punishment, she was making me wash every single dirty dish in the house. And I did _not _enjoy working in a steaming hot kitchen for hours, especially in great weather like this. I could have been outside or something! And all the spices in here were making my nose itch.

"But we're curious," said Amrod. "Aren't you s'posed to en-en-_encourage_ our curiosity?"

Damn Maedhros, teaching those kids big words. Next time I saw him I was going to kill him.

"Um…" I said. "Romenella, can you help me out here?"

Romenella, our cook's daughter, stopped chopping onions and bent down to the twins' level. "Look, honeys, it's kind of long and complicated, and a little gross, 'kay? So ask your mom when you're older."

"How much older?" demanded Amrod.

"Wait until you're seven, at least. That's only three years; it's not that long."

"Fine?" said Amras. "I guess we'll just go play with the dog then?"

"Thanks, Romenella," I said when the twins had left. "I had no idea how to handle that."

"No biggie," she said. "I have a kid brother at home. He pulls that kind of thing all the time."

"Yeah, don't you hate it when kids do that? They practically force you to answer questions that you know Mom and Dad don't want you to answer. Then what do you do? The parents are gonna find out eventually, since no little kid can keep a secret."

"Kids are so annoying," said Romenella. "So your brother Maglor's home now, huh?"

She said this last part sounding weirdly excited. I inwardly groaned. Everyone knew that Romenella had a huge crush on He Who Cannot Do Math, and to tell you the truth, it was kind of pointless. Maglor didn't seem to think of Romenella that way at all.

"Not this again," I complained. "Ever since that idiot got home, he's all anyone can talk about. Just because he dyed his hair doesn't mean he's any less annoying."

Romenella sighed and looked down at her feet. "I know. I guess I'm being a little stupid."

_Shit. I made a girl sad. Now what?_

"Sorry, I guess I'm a little biased," I said. "After all, Maglor's my brother, and he once convinced Grandpa that I put dirt in his wine at that one family reunion."

"Who actually did it?"

"Maglor, of course. Who else?"

"And how did your grandpa react?"

"After the initial shock, he thought it was pretty funny. Grandpa's cool like that." I rolled my eyes. "Too bad he had to marry that Vanyarin snob."

"I actually kind of like your step-grandma," said Romenella. "She's not nearly as much of a bitch as she might seem."

"Are you kidding? When I was six we went to go visit her and grandpa and she called me Caranthir. She did it for like an hour before somebody finally corrected her. Aren't grandmas supposed to know their grandchildren's names?"

"Good point," Romenella agreed. "Hell, my great-grandma knows the names of everyone in our family, and there's a lot of us."

"Exactly my point," I said. "I guess I'd better go now, since I'm done with the dishes and your onions are starting to make my eyes water. See ya."

"See ya."

I wandered back into civilization, checked with Mom to make sure there weren't any more pointless chores she needed me to do, and went outside. We all have our favorite places—Maedhros had his weird swimming hole, Dad had the forge, and I have outside. In particular, I had the huge game park that was just down the hill from our house. It was perfectly quiet, the trees were pretty cool, and there was a ton of totally excellent deer. I once bagged a 20-pointer there when I was ten. Seriously. No one ever believes me when I tell them that.

Since I hadn't brought any equipment, I couldn't go hunting, so I sat around on a rock, drank some water, and hummed to myself (well, tried to. I can't carry a tune, even while humming. But from what I've seen, musical ability often equals insanity, so I think it's a fair trade).

_Hmm, let's see,_ I thought. _I'm alone with my thoughts. What should I think about?_

_I guess I could think about Romenella. She's cool. And kind of cute, too. But no way am I gonna ask her out, because she's in love with Maglor, and besides, she's kind of below me. I mean, my dad's a prince, and she's just a servant. Yeah, that sounds snobby, but that's just how it is._

_Speaking of girlfriends, remember that girl Rillian that Maedhros met last summer? What a beyotch. And there's another mystery…Maedhros moped about her for like three months, and then when he came home from Aule's he seemed perfectly normal. What's up with that? Normally it takes Maedhros like a year to get over stuff like that. And here he is, acting like nothing happened. How strange._

_And Maglor…man, has he changed. I mean, before, he was just kind of there. Now he's actually, like, THERE there. It's insane. What on earth do they put in the water in Alqualonde? Exactly how much is this going to change things around here? Will Maglor actually be popular? That would be weird._

_Anyway, I'm getting hungry, and I think my foot's falling asleep. I guess I should probably get going soon or my foot'll be so asleep I won't be able to walk._

I stood up and stretched, slightly relieved that I didn't have to be alone with my thoughts anymore. Usually I end up thinking about some really weird stuff.

A loud crash came from somewhere to my left. Since I had nothing else to do, I headed towards it. Yes, I realize it could have been dangerous. But danger is my middle name, bro.

Fortunately, it turned out I had nothing to worry about. Because instead of a large, angry wild animal, the noise had been made by my good buddy Orome, who was in the process of finishing off a very large deer. Technically, Orome outranked me, since he was a Vala and I wasn't, but he was still the coolest guy I knew. He was the one who gave me Huan, my awesome dog.

"Hey, Orome," I said. "Got a big one there."

"Yo, kid," said Orome. "Yeah, the wife told me that if I was gonna spend all my time away from home I may as well bring home something good. Chicks just don't get it, you know?"

"I wouldn't," I admitted. "The only female I'm really that close to is my mom, and she doesn't really care."

"You're a lucky man," said Orome. "Naw, I shouldn't say that. Vana's a great girl. She'd better be, after all the trouble I went to getting her. Did I ever tell you that story?"

"Try three times this year alone. But yeah, I'm kind of glad that I haven't gotten involved in that whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing yet," I said. "Both of my two oldest brothers have, and it seems more trouble than it's worth."

"Well, you're just thirteen," said Orome. "Give it time. And speaking of giving, wanna give me a hand with this?"

"No problem."

"So," said Orome as we dealt with the deer. "What's been going on with you lately? How's my man Feanor?"

"He's okay," I said. "Everything's kind of screwed up now since my brother Maglor came back from Alqualonde. Now he's all anyone can talk about—even me."

"And now everyone's ignoring the rest of you, I assume."

"Very much so. Maybe this sounds a little selfish, but I kind of miss the attention I used to get, you know?"

"That's normal. No one likes getting ignored."

"So what do I do?"

"Well, seems to me that you have two choices," said Orome. "One, you do something completely insane and potentially dangerous, which will definitely get you attention but might also kill you. Or two, you do your own thing until this whole mess about your brother clears up and everything goes back to normal. Which it will, eventually."

"I hope so," I said. "Thanks, Orome."

"No problem. Hey, speaking of which, I'm having a thing at my house out in the country next week. If you can convince your old man to let you come, you should."

"Um…will I be the youngest one there?"

"Probably not. But if you are, you can just lie and say that you're eighteen but that you're really short."

"No one would believe that."

"Of course they wouldn't. But it'd still be a laugh."

"Probably," I said. "Anyway, I should go home. It's getting kind of late."

"Okay. And hey, kid, don't worry about stuff. You're smart; you'll survive."

"You had better be right," I muttered. "Or I'll go insane by the end of summer."


	6. Chapter 6

**_Hey, sorry I haven't updated this in a while! But I've got a load of new chapters done, so I probably won't take any huge breaks like that again._**

**_And yes, Wilwarin, "Long Road to Ruin" is actually the name of a song...I didn't know if anyone would catch that! :)  
_**

**Chapter 6: Bark at the Moon**

**(Maedhros)**

"Hey, Maedhros," said Maglor when we were hanging out in my room that evening. "Remember Rillian?"

"Why yes, I do," I said. "Thanks for opening up a wound, asshole."

I'd met Rillian the previous summer, and we'd gone out for a while. It was cool, until the day before I left, when she said to me: "Dahling, you didn't really think ah was serious about this, did you? You're cute, but not _thaht _cute."

Ouch, right?

"Hey, I thought you were over her," said Maglor. "Remember what happened at Aule's? How she called me dumb and you wigged out on her? That was _awesome_."

"But she still dumped me, dude. That's gonna hurt no matter what."

"You have a point," Maglor admitted. "Hey, guess who I ran into today?"

"Yourself from ten years in the future?"

"What? No. I ran into Marvana."

"That girl who beat you up when you were five?"

"The very same. And she was _nice _to me."

"That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard."

"I know, it was frightening. And then she had to go introduce me to her preppy rich friends. I _hate _that kind of people."

"Hey," I said. "I'm a preppy rich kid."

"But you at least have a little crazy. These kids were so normal it was disturbing."

"What's so wrong with being normal?" I asked. "It's like you have some kind of vendetta against people who don't live to piss off their fathers."

"_Dude_," said Maglor. "Normality is for the weak. It takes guts to be as weird as I am."

"Now there's a quote that's gonna go down in history," I said. (And actually, it did.) "Maglor, do you think I'm ever going to get married?"

"No," said Maglor.

"Why not?"

"Because you don't seem like the settle-down-and-get-married-and-have-kids type. I could be wrong, of course, but that's just my prediction. Now me, I wouldn't mind getting married and having kids someday. I kind of like kids."

"If you want to be a father so bad, maybe you should stop wearing such tight pants," I observed. He punched me.

"Don't eat so much, boys," Mom ordered us at lunch the next day. "We're havin' dinner at yer grandparents' house tonight, and I want ye to have some room."

Caranthir spat out his orange juice. Fortunately, we weren't using the white tablecloth that day.

"Why weren't we informed of this earlier?" he demanded.

"What's so bad about going to see Grandma and Grandpa?" I asked. "They're pretty cool."

"First of all, Indis isn't our grandmother," said Celegorm. "Second of all, she's kind of a bitch."

"Gods, I am so sick of this," muttered Maglor. "Enough with the family feud, okay? We get it already. Noldor + Vanyar = not good. Get over it."

"Oh, sorry, Lord Peace-and-Love," snapped Celegorm. "I didn't realize you knew everything."

"You didn't?" said Amrod. "I thought _everybody_ realized that."

"Why thank you, Amrod," said Maglor. "Just for that, when I take over the world I won't throw you in my dungeon."

"No way are you going to be able to take over the world," said Curufin. "_I'm _going to take over the world. Maybe I'll give you the Lonely Isle, if you're nice to me."

"So I assume beating the crap out of you is out of the question?"

"Very much so."

"That's no fun," I said. "Plus, what if you deserved it?"

"I could never deserve it."

"Right, because you're so perfect," said Caranthir. "Arrogant much?"

"It does kind of run in our family," I pointed out. "Even with me."

"Not me," said Celegorm. "I'm so un-arrogant it's awesome. I'm the least arrogant guy ever."

We all had to laugh at that. Celegorm can be a pretty funny guy when he's not preening.

"Hey, Maglor," said Celegorm suddenly. "Why come you don't like Romenella?"

"_Romenella_?" said Maglor. "What kind of question is that?"

"Well, I was talking to her earlier, and, you know, she's kind of nice. So I was just wondering why you didn't like her when you could do worse in the girlfriend department."

"I don't know," said Maglor helplessly. "It's just that, well, she's _Romenella. _She's been around for pretty much my entire life. It never occurred to me to ask her out."

"Romenella?" said Amras. "She's nice? She once helped me find my shoe?"

"Which Maedhros stole, as I remember," said Curufin.

"Oh, come on, it was just a joke," I said. "We're brothers. We're allowed to play jokes on each other."

"Even if the jokes are rude and crude?" said Caranthir.

"Especially then," I said.

When we got to Grandma and Grandpa's house (Technically, palace. But we considered it a house), their gigantic and ancient cat Tevildo greeted us at the door by hissing loudly and baring his claws.

"Hey, cat," said Maglor, rubbing Tevildo behind his ears. "Miss me?"

Tevildo purred loudly and un-bared his claws. Maglor and Dad were the only people he liked. Which, incidentally, was one of the few things Maglor and Dad had in common.

"I swear that cat is immortal," said Dad. "He's been around since I was a kid."

"He creeps me out," said Curufin. "I don't like that look he's giving me."

"Well, he obviously doesn't like you," said Maglor. "You're UTC."

"UTC?" I asked.

"Unattractive To Cats."

"I should have known."

"Boys, sure and we shouldn't be standing outside for so long," said Mom. "I'm sure yer grandparents are waiting for us."

Let me state something here: My paternal grandparents have a _fancy _house. Now, I know you're thinking "Dude, obviously they have a fancy house, they're royalty," but they don't just have a fancy house. They have a _**FANCY **_house. It's, like, gold-plated all over. Not literally. But close. Plus, it's sick clean. It must have been much easier to clean after my dad and his brothers moved out.

Grandpa and Grandma were in their living room, waiting for us. Both of them looked as dignified and royal as ever (especially Grandma—that woman _never _lets her guard down).

"Dad. Indis," said Dad. "Good to see you."

"Feanor!" said Grandpa, smiling hugely (Grandpa really loved Dad). "Where have you been lately? We've barely seen you at all."

"Well, looking at this place, it's not hard to see why," remarked Maglor. "Our house is so dirty that setting foot in here is major culture shock."

"Maglor, you're home!" cried Grandma. She got up from her chair and kissed Maglor on both cheeks. "And you've gotten so handsome!"

"Wait, that can't be right," I said. "I thought I was the handsome one, Maglor was the weird one, Celegorm was the stuck-up one, Caranthir was the smart one, Curufin was the just-like-Dad one, and the twins were the cute ones. If Maglor is the handsome one, what does that make me?"

"The Has-Been one," said Maglor with a grin that frightened me.

Grandma wasn't paying attention to us anymore and had moved on to Mom. Mom and Grandma had an agreement: Grandma wouldn't patronize Mom about her hair, accent, or lack of a rich family, and Mom would keep Dad from being rude to Grandma. It seemed to work.

"Nerdanel, my dear, what a beautiful dress you have on," Grandma was currently saying to Mom. "Where did you buy it?"

"I actually made it," said Mom.

"My goodness, I don't know how you found the time."

"What interesting conversations rich women have," said Celegorm. "How sad that I was born a dude and therefore don't care who made my clothes."

Grandpa laughed. "Well, I doubt your mother and grandmother care much about hunting and forging, my boy."

"I don't care about hunting and forging either," said Maglor. "Does that make me a girl?"

"Yes," said Caranthir, at the same time Dad said, "Not as such, no," and Grandpa said, "Not at all."

"Well, it could," I said. "Maybe that's why you wear tight pants all the time, eh? To prove you're a dude?"

"Hey, quit making fun of my pants. I don't make fun of yours."

"My pants are perfect."

"Actually, they're about an inch too short," said Curufin. "You look like a dork."

"I can't help it that I just went through a growth spurt!"  
"A-_hem_," said Grandpa. "Perhaps we should go eat now? Indis, Nerdanel, is that all right with you?"

"Oh, certainly," said Grandma. "These young people must be hungry, I suppose."

"Young people." Gods, I hate that phrase. It's so bland. Like mashed potatoes. Which happened to be part of what was for dinner.

"I must say, Maglor, that when your father told us you had quit school we were quite surprised," said Grandma while picking at the tiny piece of ham she had put on her plate. "I never thought that was something you would do."

Maglor snorted very loudly. "Wow. You really haven't been paying to me for the last couple years."

Grandpa laughed before Grandma had a chance to get furious and lose her composure for the first time ever. "Very funny. Did you have a good time?"

"Wow, usually people just ask me what I learned, not if I had fun," said Maglor. "But yes, I did enjoy myself. Except the bit where I almost became homeless…but let's not talk about that."

"Oh, tell us," said Mom. "I haven't heard this story."

And it went on like that for the rest of the evening. If Grandma and Grandpa remembered the rest of us existed, they didn't let on. Usually it was me they made a big deal of, or maybe the twins.

_Has-Been one is right,_ said my inner paranoid voice.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Sharp Dressed Man**

**(Maglor)**

There are times when I seriously doubt my own sanity.

The day of Maedhros' friend's party was one of them.

Actually, the day itself started off normally enough. I woke up at ten, ate some breakfast, and spent some quality time with AYN, just like any normal weekend day. (Except I had oatmeal for breakfast instead of my usual toast, but that's beside the point.) Anyhoo, the point is, I didn't seriously begin to doubt my own sanity until about eight, fifteen minutes before we were supposed to leave.

"This is not gonna be fun," I muttered to myself. "Remind me why I agreed to hang out with Maedhros' friends?"

_Because, dude, you're desperate for attention_.

"That's quite enough from you, brain. Since when have I ever needed your advice before?"

"Maglor, hurry _up_!" yelled Maedhros from the hall. "It takes a while to get to Narc's house, you know!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" I yelled back. "I just have to figure out what to wear!"

"Gods, you're such a _girl_, Maglor."

"I thought my tight pants proved that theory wrong."

"Just get ready!"

After a couple seconds of debating, I threw on the cool shirt Melania had given me before I left Alqualonde (the one that said _Back Off—I Can Deafen You_ on it), messed up my hair, and left it at that. I wasn't trying to impress anyone here. Mostly I was just trying to not get beaten up.

"Shiz," said Maedhros when I came downstairs. "Have you ever noticed, Maglor, that we're complete opposites?"

"Nonsense," I said. "We're both dudes, aren't we? And don't make some crack about how you're not sure what I am. That joke has completely run its course."

"I wasn't even thinking about it," said Maedhros. "Now, shall we be on our merry way?"

"Define 'merry.'"

"Not depressed."

"Works for me. Let's go."

Maedhros' friend Narc's family had one of those seriously huge, extravagant houses meant to prove to the general public how utterly fab and rich they were. Seriously, it was almost as bad as Grandma and Grandpa's house. Except Grandpa and Grandma's house was usually much quieter.

"Maedhros, I seriously don't know about this, dude," I said. "I don't think I'm going to be very well-received here."

"Maglor," said Maedhros, "why did you go to Alqualonde?"

"To escape my crappy, crappy life?"

"Exactly. Now how are you going to make your life at home less crappy if you keep living exactly how you lived before?"

"Damn you and your smartness, Maedhros. Okay, I'll play nice with your friends. But only if there's free food."

Maedhros' other friend Eriol greeted us at the door, along with a blond girl who was clinging to his arm. I recognized her as the girl who'd been hanging out with Marvana in the square. I also recognized her as Minya, the heiress and renowned party girl.

"Hey, Maedhros!" said Eriol. Then he noticed me. "What's he doing here?"

"I'm not quite certain," I said. "I think I may be standing on Narc's doorstep. However, I could just be having some kind of surreal dream."

Minya laughed. After a second, so did Eriol. "Dude, Maedhros was right. You _have _changed. Come on in."

"So, like, why'd you blow off Marvana and us the other day?" said Minya when we were inside. "She was pissed."

"Well, you see, my dear, I prefer to do my own talking once in a while. Exercise the old mouth muscles, you know."

"Hey, Eriol," said Maedhros. "Narc manage to steal any ale from his parents?"

"Dude," laughed Eriol. "You underestimate our dear buddy Narc. He stole their entire freaking wine cellar."

"Hmm," I said. "You'd think they'd notice that."

"Yeah, you'd think so, but no. Narc's parents aren't exactly observant."

"They'll probably think they drank it all and then forgot about it," said Narc, appearing alongside us. "Hey, Maedhros. Hey, Maglor."

"Hey," I said. "Aren't you going to ask me what the hell I'm doing here?"

"Nah, I'm pretty sure I know. Maedhros dragged you along so you could have some fun for once, right?"

"_Dude_," said Maedhros. "You're psychic."

Minya yawned, clearly bored with all this guy talk. "Hey, new guy, wanna go get something to drink?"

"Hey, Minya, you're _my _date!" protested Eriol.

"Chillax, honey, I'm not cheating on you. I just want to go get a drink."

"Don't worry," I assured Eriol. "I won't make any moves on her."

"You better not, bro."

Whoa. Was I imagining things, or did Eriol just call me _bro_? Usually it was "pipsqueak" or "asshole." _Bro _was almost a term of affection.

"Are you okay?" asked Minya. "You look freaked out."

"I kind of am," I said. "Maedhros' friends are a group of people I've been in direct conflict with for years. And here they are, being nice to me."

She shrugged. "I don't really understand them either. But then again, who really cares why they're being nice, as long as they are?"

"_That_," I said, "is a very good point. Say, is Marvana here tonight?"

"Um…no. She said that nobody cool would be here so why bother. Why, were you looking for her?"

"Not as such, no. I'm not exactly eager to see the girl that beat me up when I was five."

"Oh, so _that's _how you two met. She wouldn't say."

"Probably afraid to admit she did something unfeminine."

"Yeah, Marvana's like that. Ignore her."

"Dude!" said Fingon, appearing out of thin air next to me. "I didn't know you were coming."

"I didn't know either," I said. "It wasn't really my choice."

"Maedhros kidnapped ya, huh?" Fingon laughed. "I've been there, my friend. Sometimes it's not always a bad thing."

"Yeah. I kind of missed being ordered around when I was in Alqualonde."

"Speaking of that, how _was _Alqualonde? We haven't heard anything about that."

"Oh, yeah, tell us!" said Minya. "You must have had _so _much fun. Hold on, I'm going to get some of my friends. They'll want to hear this too."

"Um…you don't really need to do that…" I began, but she'd already run off. "Crap. Now I have to entertain a bunch of people I don't know. _This _is going to be fun."

"Maglor, from what I've seen, you're an expert at entertaining people you don't know," said Fingon. "Remember how cool your first gig was?"

"Oh, yeah, that did go okay, didn't it. But that was in _Alqualonde. _People are less judgmental there."

"This isn't that big of a deal, cuz. All you gotta do is tell people what happened, and if you don't remember, make shit up. No one will be able to tell."

"Okay, fine," I sighed. "I guess I don't have a choice."

Then I looked up from the floor and realized that half the people in the room were looking at me expectantly.

_Showtime, Hotshot_.

"Yo," I said. "So I guess everyone's aching to hear what happened to me in Alqualonde, right?"

There was a brief murmur of assent. I took that as a good sign.

"Okay," I said. "Well, I guess it started when I went up to Aule's with my dad last fall—I had to go there, since I'd skipped out on a forge lesson and man, was Dad pissed. So I go up north, and some stuff goes on with Maedhros' evil ex-girlfriend (but that's a different story), and I got my ear pierced. And then I run into this dude named Amlaith, from Alqualonde, and he says, 'Kid, you rock, come back to Alqualonde with me and stay for a while and you'll get famous.' So obviously, I wasn't going to turn down an opportunity like _that_…"

It actually got easier as it went on, and fortunately I remembered almost everything that happened (and when I didn't, I followed Fingon's advice and made shit up). More people started listening later, and by the end, pretty much everyone was listening. And I earned myself a pretty big round of applause.

"Thank you, thank you very much," I said, bowing dramatically. "I'm in until Thursday."

"Cool story, man," said Eriol when people were leaving. "You're not as much of a dork as I thought you were."

"Whose fault is that, mine or yours?" I said. "Thanks, though."

When Maedhros and I met up to go home, he acted kind of weirdly quiet. I tried to cheer him up.

"That was more fun than I thought it would be," I said. "I actually liked it."

He snorted. "Yeah, I could tell. Since _you _were getting all the attention."

"'Scuse me?"

"Never mind."

That was weird. Maedhros usually told me what was on his mind.

"Dude, are you okay?" I asked. "You seem—I dunno, depressed or something."

"I'm _fine_!" he snapped. "Let's just go home."

We didn't speak the rest of the way back to our house.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Infected**

**(Celegorm)**

I frowned at Maedhros. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing," he snarled. "What's up with your mom?"

"Maedhros. We have the same mom. You have to stop using that phrase."

"Bite me."

"Bite yourself."

Maedhros obviously couldn't think of a reply to that, and so flipped me off and left the living room. I grinned, pleased to have won this round, and tried to go back to reading. It was hard to concentrate, since my thoughts kept drifting to what Orome said about visiting him. There was no way Dad would let me, right?

"There's no way Dad would let you what?" said Maglor, appearing behind me. I jumped.

"Did I say that last part out loud?" I asked.

"Absolutely. Now, I'm an expert at what Dad will give permission for, so tell me: What's the situation?"

"Orome…"

"Oh, he won't let you do it."

"Shut up, you didn't even let me start!"

"I'm kidding. Continue."

"Orome is having some thing at his country house and he invited me."

"Hmmm. I'm assuming most of the people there will be adults?"

"Probably, yes."

"And will there be alcohol around?"

"Probably."

"And will you be supervised by Orome most of the time?"

"Yes."

"Well, let's see," said Maglor thoughtfully. "Hmm…yeah, he won't let you go. You'll have to sneak out."

"How would I go about doing that?"

"Actually, it's pretty easy. I used to do it all the time, back in the day. Now, of course, I have absolutely no rules at all. Within reason."

"That last part didn't make much sense."

"Celegorm, do I have to keep reminding you of this? I. Never. Do. Anything. Sensible."

"Ah, yes, I remember that," I said. "Well, thank you, Maglor, you've been helpful."

"Anytime, as long as you're nice to me. When's this deal?"

"Four days."

"Okay, so just tell me when you're ready to leave and I'll help you escape. Peace out."

He left, and I decided to head down to the kitchen and talk to Romenella. She was stirring something in a large pot—probably a stew. I could smell some venison in there, and some kind of vegetable. Whatever it was, it was really hot, since there was steam coming out like nuts and Romenella's curly black hair was covered in sweat.

"Smells good," I said. "Whatcha making?"

"Stew," said Romenella. "For supper."

"Knew it. Can I have a taste?"

"No way, man. It's not done."

"But I'm hungry!"

"Then you shouldn't have come in the kitchen. You'll just get hungrier from all the food smells, and I don't have anything to offer you."

I sighed. "Are you _sure_? No leftovers or anything?"

"Um…" She thought for a moment. "I think there's maybe a piece of cake left over in the pantry. It's probably really stale by now, but…"

She didn't even finish her sentence before I'd found the cake and eaten half of it. Romenella shook her head and smiled. "Boys. Sheesh."

"Hey, you work in a kitchen, girlfriend. You'd better like food almost as much as I do."

"Actually, I work here because my mom does, but who cares about that? Did you come here just to steal my cake, or did you want to talk?"

"Both. So Maedhros has been acting really pissed off lately."

"Really?" said Romenella, suddenly curious. "Why?"

"I don't know," I said. "Maybe he got dumped? But I haven't seen a girlfriend around lately, so I don't think that's it."

"Has your dad been yelling at him a lot lately? I mean, that would definitely put _me _in a bad mood."

"Nope, I haven't really heard any of that either (and trust me, I would). Maedhros and Dad seem to be getting along pretty well right now. Maybe he got in a fight with one of his lame friends."

"Oh, yeah, maybe that's it. Like, that Eriol guy asked out a girl Maedhros liked or something?"

"That would make sense. Eriol is totally that kind of guy."

"Well, now that we've got that figured out, what shall we talk about?"

"Um…I knocked out a tooth yesterday when I tripped over your dog. Wanna see?"

"Are you kidding?" I said excitedly. "I so want to! I'm very interested in Huan-related injuries."

Romenella opened her mouth widely. Sure enough, she was missing a tooth.

"Ouch," I said appreciatively. "That must have hurt."

"Not for very long. I'm tough."

"Glad to hear it. Hey, how many grapes can you fit in your mouth at a time?"

"What kind of weird kinky question is _that_?" she asked, frowning.

"Well, all this stuff about mouths and teeth reminds me of when me and Caranthir would try to see who could fit the most grapes in their mouth. I got up to thirty once."

"Impressive. I once got thirty-six."

"No way. I don't believe you."

"It's true. Want me to prove it? I think I have some grapes around here."

"You're on."

Romenella pulled a couple of bunches out of grapes out of the icebox. "You wanna go first?"

I obliged, and proceeded to place grapes in my mouth while Romenella counted. "Thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three…hey, are you giving up already?"

"I can't fit anymore," I tried to say, but my mouth was full so it came out sounding like "Mmph mph mmph."

"Okay, you are such a wuss. Watch and learn."

"Thirty-eight, thirty-nine, forty…holy crap, girl, you are _good_."

"Well, I have a lot free time on my hands, which gives me time to practice. But I've got nothing on this one girl from my neighborhood. She can fit _fifty _grapes in her mouth."

I grinned. "Sexy."

"Shut up, you stupid hormonal boy."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."

"Well, you _did_," she sniffed. "Keep acting like that and I _won't _let you taste the stew."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's not be hasty here!" I said. "I'm very, very sorry. Please forgive me for offending you. Can I _please _taste the stew?"

"I'll consider it, if you do an imitation of your dad for me."

I suppose I should explain: I am really, really good at imitating people, especially my dad. Maedhros can do it too, but I've got the real talent in the family. This has made me very popular, I must say.

"Um…okay," I said, and thought back to when Dad had been yelling at me this morning. "_Celegorm_! Do you have _any _idea how to control yourself? If I had acted like you when I was your age, I would have been kicked out of the house!"

Romenella giggled. Apparently I was doing a good job, so I kept it up.

"You have to change your attitude, boy, if you're ever going to be successful. Do you think you're just going to be able to hunt all your life? Someday you're going to have to get a _job_, and…" I trailed off. "Good gods, he's right."

"Huh?" said Romenella.

"I _will_ have to get a job someday. What the hell am I going to do about that?"

"What do you mean?"

"My skills are mostly limited to eating, imitating people, and killing animals. How am I going to make a career out of those three things?"

"Um…" said Romenella. "Let's see. You could be a professional food taster…"

"No such thing."

"Don't interrupt me. You could get hired by people to imitate their relatives that they don't like at holiday parties, thus humiliating them…"

"No way am I doing that."

"Celegorm, do you want me to hit you? Because I will. Anyway, I'm not quite sure what career could come out of hunting, but I'll think of something."

I sighed. "Thanks, Romenella, but I think it's hopeless. Gods, I'm worse than Maglor. At least he's good at something that he could make a lot of money doing."

"Well, you know, money isn't everything," Romenella said comfortingly.

"It is in Tirion," I muttered.

"Aw, poor baby." She leaned over and gave me a hug. "It'll all work out, okay? Don't worry about it."

_Damn it, I love this girl_, I thought.

Then I realized what I'd just thought.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Iron Man**

**(Maedhros)**

It was the day after the party, and I was pissed. And Fingon wasn't helping.

"Dude, what's the big deal?" he asked. "So people paid attention to your brother. How does that hurt you?"

"I'll tell you how it hurts me," I snapped. "The more attention people pay to Maglor, the less they pay to me, and pretty soon I'll be a has-been. I'm too young to be a has-been, Fingon! I'm only nineteen!"

"OMG, you overreact way too much," sighed Minya from Eriol's lap. "Doesn't he overreact too much, honey?"

"Well, I'm not sure," said Eriol. "On the one hand, Maglor's kind of cool now. On the other hand, we do have to keep _some _order around here. After all, we're the ones in charge."

"That sounds really creepy," commented Narc.

"But he's got a point," said Dan. "Wouldn't it be weird if we were _unpopular_?"

"Man, I don't even want to think about that," I shuddered. "I am _not _having my little brother replace me before I'm even a legal adult."

"So what are we gonna do, kill him?" said Minya. "And here I thought only girls were catty. Just relax."

"I agree with Minya," said Fingon.

"We know you agree with Minya, Fingon, you've said that before," said Dan. "You're telling us you're not worried about this?"

"Naw, man. Don't worry, be happy," said Fingon. "That's what the cool people do."

"Well, we're definitely the cool people," I said. "But our coolness is being threatened, remember?"

"Not really, if you think about it," said Narc. "I mean, all that's happened is that people are paying attention to Maglor now. That doesn't change much."

"You know what? I think he's right," said Eriol. "We're not under any real threat right now. Everything's cool. Why don't we just chill?"

"Fine," I muttered. "But I'm not happy about this."

_Lousy friends, acting like my family drama isn't important,_ I thought as I headed back home. _I pay attention to their problems, or at least pretend to. I'm being replaced! Isn't that a big deal to anyone?_

"Um…bro, you dropped something,"

I turned around and found myself looking at a completely hot girl.

She was short and kind of skinny, with grayish-blue eyes and short brown hair, and had one eyebrow raised in a really cute way. I liked her immediately.

"I wouldn't put it past myself," I said. "What did I drop?"

"This, I think." She held out a couple of gold coins. Very useful, but I didn't drop them, since I wasn't carrying any money around.

"Actually, I didn't drop those," I said. "I wasn't carrying any money today."

"Oh," she said. "Well, in that case, can I keep them, since I don't suppose we'll ever find out who actually dropped them?"

"By all means. I'm rich enough without them."

She snorted. "Oh, so you're one of _those _guys."

"Well, I might be. It depends on what you mean by 'those guys.'"

"Preppy charming rich boys who hit on every girl they meet?"

"Well, the first part is somewhat accurate, but I actually don't hit on every girl I meet. I leave that to my friend Eriol."

"Glad to hear it. So you're not hitting on me now?"

"How can I be hitting on you when I don't even know what your name is?"

"Hmm…" she said. "Good point. I'm Andawen."

"I'm Maedhros," I said. "And now that I know your name, can I hit on you?"

Andawen laughed. "Nope. But you _are _allowed to be friendly to me."

Well, it was definitely a start. "And as friends, are we allowed to spend time together?"

"That would probably acceptable, yes."

"Then would you like to have lunch with me sometime…as friends?"

"I'll think about it," she said, and paused for a few seconds. "Yes, I believe that can be arranged. Meet me here at this time tomorrow."

"Or I could just pick you up at your house…"

"No!" Andawen snapped, and then relaxed. "Sorry, it's just that my parents are a little overprotective, and don't want me going out with boys…"

"Say no more, say no more," I said, nodding. "I know how that is. My mom's from the Northeast, and she's pretty old-fashioned."

"So same place, same time tomorrow," she said. "See you then!"

_Ha ha, I've still got it,_ I thought as I continued on my way to our house. _Take that, Rillian._

I ran into Celegorm in the living room. He was staring at the ground and looking kind of depressed.

"What's with you?" I asked.

"Bite me."

"Not until you tell me what's wrong."

"Why should I? You never tell me what's wrong."

"That's because I'm older than you. But as your older brother, I'm supposed to help you with your problems. So talk to me."

"Okay, fine," Celegorm muttered. "What do you do when you like a girl but she likes someone else?"

"You prove to her that you're way better than the guy she currently likes. It's usually not that hard, especially if she hasn't liked the guy very long."

"But what if she's liked the guy for ages? And what if the guy is, in general, a lot nicer and less arrogant than you?"

"Oh, gods," I groaned. "Please tell me you don't have a crush on Romenella."

"Why not?" said Celegorm defensively. "She's cute, and nice, and she can fit forty grapes in her mouth. And plus, Maglor's never gonna go for her."

"Oy," I said, shaking my head. "You've got your work cut out for you, bro."

"I know. But on the other hand, how hard should it be to beat out _Maglor_? I mean, that guy can't even do math."

"Yes, and math skills are so very attractive to a girl."

"You know what I mean."

"Do you mean that Maglor's an idiot so who would want to go out with him?"

"Something like that."

"Well, good luck getting Romenella to like you, anyway," I said.

"Thanks. So why are you so happy? When I saw you this morning you looked pissed."

"I have a date," I informed him. "With this extremely hot girl named Andawen."

"Aha. Is this one going to dump you like Rillian did?"

"Why does everyone need to keep bringing that up?" I complained. "_One time_ I got dumped. One time. And now everyone makes fun of me for it."

"That's because it was such a novelty," explained Celegorm. "Usually, girls are all like, 'Ooh, Maedhros, you're so rich and hot.' It's weird that a girl for once thought you were a regular schmuck like the rest of us."

I laughed. "_Schmuck_?"

"What? It's a funny word. People should use it more often."

"_Schmuck_." I couldn't help it. I laughed like a maniac.

"You," said Celegorm, starting to laugh too, "are _nuts_."

"What kind of nuts am I?" I snorted. "Peanuts? Pecans?"

"Okay, you just proved my point. You're bonkers. Insane. Crazy."

This resulted in more hysterical laughter for absolutely no reason, and we continued until Maglor entered the room.

"Hmm," he said. "Why is everyone sitting on the floor laughing?"

"Now there's an interesting question," I said. "Celegorm, why _are _we sitting on the floor laughing?"

"Don't ask me," said Celegorm. "You started it."

"Wasn't it because you called me a schmuck?"

Celegorm snorted. "Schmuck."

"You guys are nuts," said Maglor.

"What kind of nuts?" I asked, which of course started us off again.

"I don't get you people," said Maglor, shaking his head. "Anyway, Maedhros, you have a date?"

"You heard that?" I said. "Whoa."

"I hear all and see all. Actually, I don't see all, but I do hear all."

"Yeah, Andawen's cool, but there's something a little off about her," I said. "When I said I'd pick her up at her house, she freaked out. Then she said it was just because her parents were overprotective, but I dunno…"

"Well, that's one of life's little mysteries," said Maglor. "Have fun figuring it out."

He and Celegorm both went their own ways, and I leaned back and grinned. A new girl already. Things could only get better from here.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Smoke on the Water**

**(Maglor)**

The next morning, I woke up at the usual time (ten o' clock) and discovered that someone had left a piece of paper by my bed. Picking it up, I could see it was a letter.

This is what it said:

_Dear Hotshot,_

_Yo, it's Melania. You didn't think that I'd cease all communication with you once you left, did you? You did? Hotshot, you idiot. I ought to smack you for that. But I can't, because I'm in Deep Lake right now, working on my parents' farm._

_It's super boring here. Aside from the occasional party, nothing ever happens. Oh, except one of our sheep got out yesterday and pretty much destroyed our garden. It would have been really funny, except that it was kinda-sorta my fault and my mom chewed me out. Sigh. I really miss Alqualonde._

_Say, I ran into Rillian the other day. I told her that I'd seen both you and your brother recently and that you were both doing fine, and said to tell her hi. She was furious. Rillian is hilarious when she's mad._

_Anyway, my dad keeps talking about how I should start thinking about getting married soon, since I'm fifteen. I tell him that my being fifteen is exactly why I shouldn't start thinking about getting married. At which point he reminds me that my mother got married at eighteen. At which point I say, "Dad. I'm fifteen, remember? We just discussed that?" And then he gets mad._

_I don't imagine your dad is pressuring you to get married young, as you're a dude. How come chicks have to get married young and guys don't?_

_Anyway, since nothing's been happening to me and you're probably wishing for some interesting reading material, I'm sending this letter to Alqualonde so Skunk, Lucky, Serpentine, and the rest of the gang can contribute to it. Then, hopefully, they'll send it to you. SKUNK! IF YOU'RE READING THIS, REMEMBER TO SEND IT TO HOTSHOT!_

_Sorry about that. Anyway, have fun in Snotty Rich Kid City. Peace out._

_--Melania._

_Hey Hotshot,_

_Greetings from your good buddy Skunk. So Mel sends me this letter and puts a note in it saying to add to it and then pass it around, so that's what I'm doing._

_Things in Alqualonde are doing pretty good, except we've got a bunch of rich kids on vacation here who call us "townies" and act like they're better than us. So I (I'm working as an assistant cook in one of their beach houses. Don't say it—I'm a sellout) put a bunch of freaky spices in their food, and now the kids from that house can't taste anything for a week. Revenge is sweet._

_Street Rat broke his wrist yesterday when he was jumping off a wall for a bet. There is nothing that dude won't do to win a bet. I'm pretty sure he's nuts. But then again, that's why he's in charge of the Underground._

_Amlaith says hi and that he misses having you around. Also, he says you left a pair of shoes in your room, but that he's keeping them for sentimental purposes. Or possibly to sell them for big money when you're famous. Are you famous yet? You're probably not. If you were, I'm sure we'd know._

_See ya, man._

_--Skunk_

_'Sup, Shot in the dark…_

_Hi, it's Lucky. Although lately I haven't been too lucky because I broke my toe. (I stubbed it really hard on my bed, but that's not important) Hey, did you hear about Street Rat? He broke his wrist…oh, Skunk already told you about that. Cool._

_So if you're wondering how Serpentine's doing, I think she's over you. She's going out with a new guy now. He's a few years older than her and works on the docks. None of us quite trust him, but we like him okay anyway. Why do we not trust him, you ask? Because he's not from the underground, of course. You should know that._

_We all miss you around here. We all miss Melania, too. At least you're in the city, whereas she's trapped in a tiny hick town. Damn those parents of hers. But yes, I miss you too, and I hope you can survive the summer without killing any of your brothers._

_Peace._

_--Lucky_

_Hi Maglor,_

_Looks like I'm the only one calling you by your real name on this letter. And only two people called you by your real nickname (Shot in the dark, Lucky? Really). Well, not my fault. Anyway, yeah, we're doing okay over here, except that, as Skunk said, he totally sold out and started to work for one of those horrible rich families. No offense to you, of course. You may not be the best boyfriend, but you're not a horrible rich person._

_Speaking of boyfriends, yeah, I have a new one. He's eighteen. He works on the docks. He's kind of shy and really nice. I think you'd like him. Do you have a new girlfriend yet? You probably do. I mean, we did a good job on you over here…you're so much cooler now._

_Lotsa love from all of us here in Alqualonde (and Deep Lake, in Melania's case)._

_--Serpentine (aka Alcarine)_

I smiled. My Alqualonde friends kicked _so _much ass.

So Serpentine had a new boyfriend. That was cool. I paused, waiting for a twinge of jealousy, but it never came. Wow, I was _so _mature.

Briefly, I wondered when and if I'd ever go back to Alqualonde. I probably would, of course. I mean, how can you not like a town that never gets cold? Plus, while people in Tirion _were _being generally nicer to me, you absolutely could not beat Alqualonde kids in the acceptance category. The only reason my Underground friends wouldn't like a person was if they were normal (ruling out most of Tirion).

Around that time, I realized that I needed breakfast, and so I went downstairs. As I was getting myself some toast, I heard voices coming from down the hall.

Obviously, I went to eavesdrop. Wouldn't you?

"Feanor, are ye certain that this is a good time to talk?" Mom said. "What if the children hear? I'm not wanting them to worry."

A number of scenarios immediately flashed into my head: _She's pregnant. Someone's gone missing. We have to move._

"Nerdanel, it's fine," said Dad. "Maedhros is off with friends, Maglor's still asleep, Celegorm took the dog for a walk, and the younger ones are outside. We can talk."

"All right." Mom sighed. "Sure and I can't believe he's retiring already!"

"I don't understand it either," Dad agreed. "I always thought my father loved his job. Can the stress be that bad?"

"Well, he _is _the king. I don't suppose it's exactly an easy line of work."

Wait. Hold everything. Grandpa was retiring?

Well, that took care of Who and What (and also Where, I suppose). Now, all that remained were Why and When.

"When is he going to step down, do ye think?" asked Mom.

"He told me that there were some important things he needed to sort out with the council and that he wouldn't be able to step down for at least a month."

All right, that was When. But WHY?!? No one was telling me that.

"Feanor," said Mom quietly, "do ye really think yer ready to be king?"

"Well, I think I am, but Fingolfin certainly doesn't," muttered Dad. "He's all set to prove to the council that I'm unfit to rule. Damn it, why did Dad remarry?"

Aha, so there was more to this. Obviously, Uncle Fingolfin didn't want Dad to have the throne. I knew how he felt—after all, if Dad was king, there was nothing to stop him from making the whole city go through a smith's apprenticeship.

That was a bad joke, I know. But give me a break, I was stressed.

I heard Mom sniff, and say, "Do you smell burning toast?"

_Shit_! My toast! My precious, precious toast! I'd let it burn! Damn, I had to get to the kitchen fast before they came to investigate and I got caught. Fortunately, I managed to, and by the time Mom and Dad came to the kitchen I was making a new piece of toast and acting like I'd just woken up.

"Hey, parents," I said in my fake-groggy voice. "Sorry, I kinda burned a piece of toast back there…I'm still kinda half-asleep."

"How long have you been up?" Dad demanded.

"Um…'bout six, seven minutes. Dunno. I've just been in here making toast. Mom, are we out of raspberry jam? 'Cause I can't find it…"

_There, I pulled that off well,_ I thought. _Now, what am I going to do about this Grandpa-retiring thing?_ I quickly put together my options:

Tell Mom and Dad that I heard them. Pros: I could get a bit more information. Cons: They'd kill me if they found out I knew.

Tell Maedhros/my friends about it. Pros: I could have help figuring out what to do. Cons: Somehow, word could get back to Mom and Dad that I knew, which would, once again, result in my death.

Not tell anyone anything. Cons: I'd have to keep a secret, which I'm not an expert at. Pros: No one would kill me.

So Option Three it was. Which left me with one last question: WHAT THE HELL WAS I GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS?

_I really shoulda stayed in Alqualonde, _I thought.


	11. Chapter 11

**_Hi, everyone! Sorry you haven't heard from me in a while; I've been on vacation. Anyway, here's chapter 11. Enjoy._**

**Chapter 11: Stellar**

**(Celegorm)**

Okay, so I had to prove to Romenella that I was better than Maglor. How could I do that?

Well, I guess I'd have to figure out what was so great about Maglor, and then top it. This was going to be hard, since I'm not in the habit of saying anything good about my brothers. As far as I could tell, this was Maglor's appeal: He was fairly nice, he could be funny, he was kind of good-looking (don't tell ANYONE I said that), and he was a good singer.

Now, I had to top that. I can be nice when I want to, so that wouldn't be a problem. I was already funny, so I didn't have to do anything much about that. As far as I could tell, I was damn sexy, so that wasn't an issue either. I wasn't a good singer at all, but what I lacked in that, I made up for in being smart and not talking in acronyms/lists.

So wait, if I was already so great, why didn't Romenella like me?

Maybe that was my problem. I was too arrogant. Funny, I'd never really thought about that before. Girls probably didn't like guys who were always going on and on about how great they were.

It occurred to me that all that I knew about girls I knew from my older brothers and Orome. What I knew about girls from my older brothers: Don't date southern girls, and when a girl says she loves you, find out EXACTLY why she said it before you freak out. What I knew from Orome…well, that was a long story. I'll tell you sometime.

Anyway, none of the information I had on girls was stuff I could really use, since Romenella had never said she loved me, and though her family was from the South Side, she wasn't really southern. So I was gonna have to wing it this time.

I decided that since I needed to do some fact-finding and since I was hungry anyway, I would mosey on down to the kitchen and hang out with Romenella for a while. If I was super nice, maybe she'd think I wasn't so arrogant.

My plan was slightly messed up by the fact that when I got down to the kitchen, she was talking to another girl who I'd never seen before. So much for alone time.

"Hey, Celegorm!" said Romenella when I entered. "Angren, this here's my boy Celegorm. He can fit, like, thirty-five grapes in his mouth. Celegorm, this is Angren. She's visiting today."

"Whassup, kid," said Angren. She had dark brown hair and greenish eyes, and looked like the kind of girl who could break your arm in one move. I decided not to get on her bad side. "So, are you taking care of my best buddy?"

"That depends on what you mean by "taking care of"," I said. "If you mean 'stealing food from,' then yes, I'm taking care of her."

Angren laughed. "This kid's hilarious, Romenella! No wonder you like working here."

"Yeah, it could be worse," said Romenella. "At least I get paid."

"So how's your mom?"

"She's okay. She's been pretty busy lately, so I haven't seen a ton of her."

The two of them kept talking about Romenella's job, completely ignoring me. This was interesting for a while, but eventually I started to feel like kind of a third wheel. I guess it had never occurred to me that Romenella could have friends other than me, but apparently a thirteen-year-old kid wasn't enough to keep her entertained.

On the way out, I heard Angren ask, "So what's up with that hot guy you keep talking about? Has he asked you out yet?"

"Nah," sighed Romenella. "I don't really think he likes me. I'm considering moving on."

_Score_!

I went to bed early that night, and had a really weird dream. In it, I was sitting in my favorite spot in the woods, and for some reason Dad was with me. Everything was all gray-toned and weird like it usually is in my dreams (I never dream in color).

"Dad," I said in my dream. "Listen to me."

"Make it quick, kid," said Dad. "I have to go to the forge and teach Curufin something."

"But I need to talk to you…"

Then suddenly Dad turned into Romenella.

"You don't deserve me, kid," she said. "I need a man who can fit more than thirty-three grapes in his mouth."

"But I love you!" I protested. "And that doesn't even make any sense!"

Then Romenella turned into Maglor.

"Since when does anything I do make sense?" he asked. "SUCYAI. Don't you realize that life sucks? Either you give up or fake it until something good happens."

"But nothing good will happen," I said. "I can't fake it forever."

And then I was alone, and I was talking to myself.

"Celegorm," I said. "You're having a dream that's incredibly weird. _Wake up_."

And I did.

"Hey, Maedhros," I said at breakfast the next morning. "I had a really random dream last night."

"So did I," he said. "I dreamed I was a frog. Then towards the end I turned into a sandwich."

"Oh, I know what that means," said Maglor. "You're weird-looking and you give people warts. And the sandwich part at the end meant you were hungry."

"But why was _I _the sandwich?"

"How the hell should I know? I'm not in charge of your dreams."

"_Anyway_," I said. "In my dream, I was having an argument with Dad, then with…um…some girl, and then with you, Maglor. You said something really pessimistic. And then I was by myself and I told myself to wake up."

"Well, I know what _that _means," said Maglor. "It means you need to stop eating before you go to bed."

"Ha! Ha!" Maedhros laughed sarcastically. "You're hilarious, Hotshot."

"Well, I think so, anyway," said Maglor.

"And he says he's not related to us!" said Caranthir. "You're just as much of a braggart as the rest of us, smart guy."

"Oh ho ho, look who uses big words in the morning," I said. "Honestly, dude, do you think before you talk?"

"More than you."

"Good comeback," said Curufin. "Really devastating."

"Sure and I can't wait for ye all to grow up and get married so I can have some peace and quiet in the morning," muttered Mom. "Is it possible for ye to stop bickering for ten minutes?"

"Dunno," said Maglor. "Hey, Maedhros. Five silver says we can stop arguing with each other for ten minutes."

"Can we argue with everyone else?" asked Maedhros. "If so, I'm in."

"Yeah, we can argue with everyone else. I'm not depriving either of us of one of the few joys we have in life."

"If the high point of your day is arguing with us, then you're pretty sad," said Curufin.

"If the high point in your day is hanging out in a forge with Dad, then you're even worse than him," said Caranthir.

"_Good_ one, dude!" said Maedhros. "Maybe you're not hopeless."

"Speaking, of which, anyone want to hear a joke I came up with at three o' clock this morning?" said Maglor. "Good. What's purple and has eight tentacles and three eyes?"

"What?" asked Amras curiously.

"I don't know, but I wish it would get out of my closet."

I couldn't help it; I laughed. Then instantly regretted it.

"Ha! He laughed! There, see, I _am _funny," said Maglor smugly. "Take that."

"You may be funny, but you're stupid," said Maedhros. "Crap! Does that count as arguing?"

"Yes, it does," said Caranthir.

"Damn," sighed Maedhros. "Fine, here's the money." He pulled five coins out of his pocket and handed them to Maglor.

"I wish you boys wouldn't bet at the table," said Dad.

"And I wish I had a piece of pie," said Amrod. "Can I have pie, Mom?"

"Of course ye can't," said Mom. "Sure and it's breakfast!"

"That's just an excuse," I said.

"Hey, on a different topic, who was the girl you said you were arguing with in your dream?" asked Caranthir. "You never told us that."

_Damn!_ I had hoped nobody would notice that. I'd have to just tell the truth and hope no one suspected anything.

"Um…I think it was Romenella," I said. "Dunno why. Probably because I've been hanging out with her lately."

"Yeah, what's with that?" said Curufin. "Are you that desperate for free food?"

"I think it's pretty obvious that I am," I said, trying to get out of this awkward conversation. Fortunately, Maglor, the master of randomly changing the subject, saved me.

"So, I'm turning sixteen in a week," he said. "Who knew that other than me?"

As this new conversation took off, I leaned back in my chair and sighed with relief that I'd managed to avoid giving anything away for another family meal.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: More Than a Feeling**

**(Maedhros)**

_I have a date I have a date I have a date I have a date! _I thought excitedly all day.

As I'm sure you could tell, it was the day of my date with Andawen, and I was excited. It had been a while since I'd been on a date. Do NOT make fun of me for that.

Anyhoo, I was kind of being hyper and excited all day, which I supposed kind of inevitably led to Dad getting suspicious. See, my parents didn't really want me to date before I came of age. They let me, but they didn't like it.

"Why are you so happy, Maedhros?" asked Dad, frowning.

"Um," I said. "I've finally snapped?"

"Be honest."

"I have a date."

Dad sighed. "Maedhros, you know I don't…"

"Want me to date before I come of age, because I'm not mature enough and it'll mess me up for life," I said. "Yeah, I know. You're kind of a hypocrite sometimes, Dad…after all; you married Mom when you were a year older than I am."

"That was different."

"No, it wasn't. It was actually a lot worse. All I'm doing is going out on a few dates; you, on the other hand, got married. Which would you rather I do?"

"Maybe I'd rather you got married. At least you might settle down then."

"I might, but I might not."

"I don't like the sound of that."

"Dad," I said. "Why are we talking about this?"

Dad laughed. "I don't know. All right, go and have fun, but don't do anything stupid. And be back before dark."

"Consider it done," I said, and got the hell out of there.

"There you are!" said Andawen. "You're approximately four minutes and twenty-nine seconds late."

"Okay, how the hell do you know that?" I asked.

"There's a big clock on the wall of that building over there. See?"

I looked. She was right. "Great, now I feel stupid."

"If it'll make you feel better, I'll do something stupid too," said Andawen. "APPLE DIRT BOOK SCISSORS!" she yelled, causing several people in the street to turn around and stare at her.

I laughed. "That was definitely stupid. Thank you."

"I like doing stupid things sometimes. It's kind of life-affirming."

"You're like my brother Maglor. The stupider something is, the more likely he is to do it."

"I didn't know you had a brother," said Andawen. "Tell me about your family."

"Oh boy, this'll be fun," I muttered. "Well, to start off with, I actually have _six _brothers. All of them are nuts."

We continued to talk about our families for a while longer. Andawen, it turned out, had a younger brother who was constantly getting her into trouble, a four-year-old sister who frequently got lost, and very stressed-out parents. When I asked her why they were stressed, she shrugged.

"A combination of their jobs and my brother and sister and I," she said. "I just try to stay out of their way as much as I can."

"I'm that way with my dad," I said. "We fight a lot less when we aren't around each other."

Andawen sighed. "Parents. Can't live with 'em, can't whack 'em over the head with an anvil and throw them in the river…at least, not while anyone's looking."

"That's kind of violent."

"Well, it's not like I'm actually going to do that to my parents. Give me some credit."

"I'm not giving you any credit until I know you a little better,"

"Speaking of which, why did you just randomly ask out a girl you'd never met before?" asked Andawen. "Most guys I know will only ask out a girl if they've known her for years."

I shrugged. "Dunno. I thought you seemed nice, and so I figured it would be fun to go out with you."

"That's a good reason," said Andawen.

"So why did you agree to go out with me?"

"I'm plotting to kill you."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Something to do."

"Makes sense."

"Hey, I'm hungry. Do you want to go get lunch?"

"Oh, right, that was the point of this date, wasn't it," I said. "Sure, let's go."

We went down to the town square and scored a couple of sandwiches, and then went off and sat in a corner of the square.

"I always feel a little uncomfortable here," I admitted. "I'm always afraid someone's going to pick my pocket or something."

"Why would you think that?" asked Andawen.

"Well, you know," I said uncomfortably, not sure how to explain this without sounding like a jerk. "Usually I'm around rich people all the time, so I'm not used to this."

"Not all poor people are pickpockets," said Andawen. She looked a little angry, so I quickly changed the subject.

"How do you like your sandwich?" I asked.

"It's all right. This turkey tastes like it's been out in the light a little too long."

"Yeah, that happens sometimes," I said. "You should taste the turkey we have at our house. Our cook is brilliant."

"Huh," said Andawen. "We don't have a cook."

"You don't have a cook?" I said, surprised. Everyone I knew had a cook. "Wow, no wonder your parents are stressed."

Andawen laughed. "You're a little sheltered, aren't you."

"Sheltered? Not really. My parents are pretty lenient."

"I don't mean sheltered by parents. I mean sheltered by environment. You're surrounded by nothing but other rich people and servants. You barely know anything about the outside world."

"And you do?"

"I know more than you!"

Okay, she was pissed now. Her face was turning red, and she had a very mean expression. I decided that I had better smooth things over, quick.

"Why are we arguing about this?" I said. "It's ridiculous."

She laughed. "I guess you're right. Never discuss social justice on the first date."

We got along perfectly for the rest of the date.

"Let me guess," said Maglor when I got home. "You blew it?"

"Nope," I said. "We did have kind of an argument once, but I smoothed it over. Everything went fine. On a different topic, why do you look so stressed?"

"What? I don't know, just stuff. But back to your date. What was the argument about?"

"I made some comment about how I feel uncomfortable in the square because I always feel like people are going to pick my pocket, and she said that I was sheltered, and so there was some tension there. But it worked out."

"Well, good luck," said Maglor. "And if she says she loves you, make _sure _she's telling the truth before you freak out."

"Wait a minute. Now _you're _giving _me_ advice about girls? That's just not right. Not only are you younger than me, but you're supposed to be unpopular and lame."

"Yes, but there's a new world order now, remember? I'm bringing weird back into style."

"You've got a long way to go."

"Don't I know it. Anyway, back to the date. What else happened?"

"Nothing much. We got sandwiches. They were okay."

"Who was working at the sandwich stand today?"

"I don't know, some girl with dark brown hair," I said. "Why?"

"I know her. She once gave me a sandwich for half price."

"Really? How'd you pull that one off?"

"I complimented her a couple of times. That usually gets me free food, or at least cheap food."

"Lucky bastard," I said. "I'm going to my room."

When I got to my room, I lay down on my bed and thought for a while. Yes, Andawen was cute and hilarious and extremely nice, and I liked her. But why on earth was she so sensitive about what I said about poor people?

But then I realized something important: I didn't care.

Then I fell asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: Symphony of Destruction**

**(Maglor)**

"Um, Maglor?" said Celegorm. "I need your help."

"Yes, you do," I said. "What's up?"

"Orome's thing is tonight. Can you help me get out of the house?"

Damn! I'd forgotten about that. Hopefully it wasn't too late to figure things out.

"Okay," I said. "Give me ten minutes to plan, and you'll be out of the house within an hour."

Really, I didn't need this right now. I was just in the middle of worrying about the whole Grandpa thing. Also, I was worried about Maedhros somehow figuring out what was going on with the whole Grandpa thing. I have got to get better at hiding it when I'm stressed.

But I _had _promised to help Celegorm out (at least, I was pretty sure I had). And I don't break promises to my brothers. So I had to get planning.

First of all, I paid a visit to the kitchen.

"Romenella," I said. "I need you to do me a favor."

She smiled. "Sure, Maglor. Anything."

For once I was actually glad she had a crush on me. "See, I promised Celegorm I'd help him sneak out of the house tonight, and since he hangs out with you all the time the first place Dad will look for him is here. So if that happens, could you please just say that he was completely exhausted and went to bed, and that he'd prefer it if no one came in his room?"

"Okay," she said. "But why couldn't you just tell your dad that?"

"He doesn't trust me, remember? With good reason, certainly, but that's beside the point. Can you help me out here?"

"No problem. Anything for a friend."

_That was easy_, I thought as I left the kitchen. Now I just had to take care of the details and the plan would be complete.

I love doing sneaky stuff. Have I mentioned that?

Ten minutes later (for once I was precisely on schedule), I met up with Celegorm upstairs to go over the details.

"All right," I said. "Here's the plan. At seven tonight, you will fake like you're tired and go up to your room and lock the door. You will then climb out of the window, get onto the horse that I will have tied up in a strategic location, and ride like hell. If you're careful about not being seen by anyone we know, you'll be fine. Romenella and Maedhros are both in on this, so they'll be able to back me up if Mom and Dad start nosing around. Any questions?"

Celegorm raised an eyebrow. "Is this really your only way to amuse yourself?"

"Pretty much, yes. You're welcome."

"Fine, thanks, whatever."

Figuring that this was as much gratitude as I was going to get, I returned to my room, as I still had to write a reply to the letter my wonderful friends had sent me.

_Dear Everyone,_

_Thanks for the letter. I was hoping you guys wouldn't just forget about me as soon as I left (not that it's possible to forget _me_). Oh, and can the last person to read this send it to Melania? Thanks._

_Actually, quite a bit's been happening around here lately. My former archenemy is being weirdly nice to me (I preferred it when she hated me, actually—now that she's being nice to me I have to be nice to her), and other people have been nice to me too. I have no idea why. Maybe it's because I actually talk now._

_Maedhros has a new girlfriend now (sorry to disappoint you, Melania. Just kidding). I haven't met her, but they've already gotten into a fight about social justice. Unfortunately she hasn't dumped him. It's always funny when Maedhros gets dumped. Yes, that's mean, but it's true._

_Today I helped Celegorm sneak out of the house to go to some deal at Orome's house. Now he owes me, and I'm definitely going to use that to my advantage. I love it when people owe me. Perhaps I'll make him do all my chores for a month._

_Now, I shall reply to all the things you said in the letter. (I'm having a bit of déjà vu…remember the letters my brothers used to write to me?)_

_MELANIA: If your dad keeps bugging you about getting married, say, "Fine, if I have to get married, I'll marry Street Rat." Hopefully this will scare him enough to make him shut up about the whole thing. And I'm very sorry you're bored. Here's something that might amuse you: Next time you see Rillian, tell her that Maedhros has a new girlfriend. Her reaction will probably be hilarious._

_SKUNK: Put curry powder in their wine at their next meal. Trust me. Oh, and tell Street Rat that I'm more than ready to take over from him if he kicks the bucket._

_LUCKY: You didn't really say anything in your segment of the letter. What's with that, dude? Well, you never were the most talkative of people. Nice new nickname for me, by the way. Never would have thought of that._

_SERPENTINE: Congrats on the new boyfriend! You thought I'd be jealous, didn't you? I'm not, that's how mature I am. Can't wait to meet him._

_All of you have fun breaking your bones and destroying people's taste buds and everything. I miss you all, and I promise I'll visit in a few months (hopefully. Don't hold me to that, as I might not be able to pull it off)._

_Love,_

_Hotshot_

I wondered when I'd actually be able to visit them again. Probably not for a while—after all, I didn't really have any transportation. When I came of age and got my own horse, I could visit whenever I wanted to, but that was still five years away, and until then I was pretty much stuck.

Seeing as I'd finished dealing with Celegorm and writing to my friends, I decided to worry about the whole Grandpa situation. Not that this would do me a lot of good, though, since I couldn't really do much about the whole situation.

Wait a minute, what was I thinking? Of _course _I could do something. I was, if what some people said about me was true, a manipulative bastard. If anyone could do something, it was me.

Yes, I'm occasionally arrogant. What of it?

I then proceeded to compile what I knew into the following handy list:

Grandpa was retiring (duh).

He wouldn't be officially stepping down for a month.

This bought me some time.

Dad would be king after Grandpa retired.

This was not necessarily good.

Uncle Fingolfin wanted to convince the Council that Dad was unfit to rule.

If he succeeded,_ he _would become king.

This was also not necessarily good.

If I didn't want Dad or Uncle Fingolfin to get the throne, I would have to get Grandpa to not retire.

I had no idea how to do that.

So, in order to solve this whole thing and to give me time to slack off again, I somehow had to convince Grandpa to not retire, all while making sure nobody found out that I knew what was going on, because it could cause major political turmoil if this got out. Man, I got stressed just thinking about it.

Well, someone had to do something, and it was probably going to be me (unless someone beat me to it. In which case, good for them). I decided to start at the bottom.

"Your Highness!" said Surinen, possibly the most annoying page I ever have and ever will meet. "W…what can I do for you?"

"_Dude_," I said. "You have got to stop calling me 'Your Highness.' We're the same age, for Varda's sake."

Surinen worked at the Grand Hall—the place where all of the most powerful dudes on Fish Hill got together to talk politics. If anyone would have some info about Grandpa's plans, it would be him.

I just had to be able to put up with him.

"But you're a prince, Your Highness."

"I am?" I said. "Oh, right, I suppose I am. But that's not important right now. What's important is that I really need your help, and I could do without the formalities right now."

"Um…all right," said Surinen. "How can I help you?"

"That's more like it!" I said, nodding. "Now, here's the deal. I need to know if you have any information whatsoever about my grandpa's plans to retire. If you didn't know my grandpa had plans to retire, please don't tell anyone as I'm trying to keep it quiet."

"No, I knew about that. But I'm not sure if I should tell you. What are you going to do with this information?"

"Something good. Don't worry. Also, you have to tell me, since I outrank you."

He couldn't argue with that, and so proceeded to tell me that Grandpa was officially stepping down in 30 days and that there was going to be a meeting about who would be the next king in 20 days. That gave me 20 days to plan, as everything would pretty much be set in stone after the meeting.

"Thanks, dude," I said. "I owe you one. Oh, and do you have any idea who Grandpa is leaning toward as far as the whole next-king thing goes?"

"No," said Surinen. "As far as I know, he's pretty much neutral."

"All right, I'll figure out how to use that to my advantage," I said. "Once again, thanks. And if anyone asks, we never had this conversation, got it?"

Surinen nodded, and I got the hell out of there.

Maybe it wasn't much. But it was definitely a start…


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: Cowboys from Hell**

**(Celegorm)**

I have to say, I hate it when Maglor does something nice to me. Because that means that I owe him, and that usually means unpleasantness. But right now, I couldn't think about that because I had to focus on getting the hell out of my house.

It was nearly seven, and I was sitting in the living room trying to pretend that nothing was up. It seemed to be working, but that might have been because Dad and Caranthir were reading, Mom was mending my pants, Curufin was nowhere to be found, the twins were playing with blocks on the floor, and Maedhros and Maglor were playing checkers and arguing. In short, no one was paying any attention to me, which made this whole plan a lot easier.

"So where'd you go this afternoon?" Maedhros asked Maglor. "You were gone for like an hour."

Maglor shrugged. "Around. I had some havoc to wreak."

If anyone else had said this, it would have been suspicious, but since Maglor never says anything that makes sense Maedhros seemed satisfied.

"You're incredibly strange," said Curufin.

"_Thank_ you!" said Maglor. Oddly enough, he didn't sound sarcastic at all.

"That wasn't a compliment."

"I know. I'm trying to annoy you."

"You're succeeding."

"Thank you."

The clock struck seven, and I casually stood up and left the room, happy to get out before the conversation got way too weird (as it was almost guaranteed to do). Fortunately, no one seemed to notice, so I was able to sneak quietly to my bedroom. I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing until I remembered that the next part of the plan involved me climbing out the window. See, here's the deal, which you're not allowed to tell anyone: I hate heights. They freak me out to no end. And climbing out of my window down a rickety rope ladder that Maglor found in the basement was not my idea of a good time.

_Come on, man,_ I thought. _Are you gonna back out not just because you're a little afraid of heights_?

Although that was sounding kind of good to me right now, I decided not to. Hopefully it'd all be worth it in the end. And so I swung out the window and started climb down the rope ladder.

_Hey, this ain't so bad,_ I thought as I climbed down. _I can so do this_.

The rope chose that moment to break, sending me crashing down into the mud.

I'm pretty sure the word for that is "ironic."

Luckily for me, no one heard, and so I managed to get up, dust myself off, and get onto the horse that Maglor had tied up in a convenient spot for me. Much as I thought Maglor was an idiot who deserved to be smacked in the head several times, he had thought of everything.

That's probably the last time you'll ever hear me say anything nice about him. Enjoy it.

Orome hadn't given me any directions to his country house, but I didn't need them. I passed it every time I went away from Fish Hill to go hunting. It was a ginormous structure in the woods that was painted bright red and always had all its lights on in the night. I'd always wanted to go there.

And now I was. Woot, go me.

The only problem is, it was starting to get dark, and so it was kind of hard to see. Within twenty minutes, I had gotten out of the city and down Fish Hill, only to find that I was completely lost.

_Excellent_, I thought. _I should've known something like this was going to happen. Now what do I do? I could yell and see if anyone responds, but I don't want to look like a wimp. I guess I'd better keep going and eventually I'll get there._

This proved to be easier said than done. In fact, it didn't take me very long to realize that I was going around in circles. I recognized that really weird-looking bush and the tree with half its leaves missing. Seriously, how did that happen, anyway? Did an animal eat them, or had there been a storm? And why was I wondering about how some stupid tree lost its leaves when I should be trying to find my way out of here?

"Hey, kid. You lost?"

An extremely pretty girl with long, wavy hair who only looked to be a few years older than me stepped out from the trees. I didn't know who she was, and I didn't really care—all I cared about was if she could get me out of here.

"Very much so," I said. "Why, do you know the way to Orome's house?"

She laughed. "I should think so, honey. I live there!"

"Oh!" I said, suddenly realizing who I was talking to. "Oh, are you Orome's wife, then? Vana?"

"Sure am, hon. You sound surprised."

"Well, I just thought you'd look a little…you know, older."

"They call me the Ever-Young for a reason, you know."

"So why are you out in the woods instead of hanging out with your husband?"

Vana shrugged. "Meh, I don't really like Orome's parties. They're really loud, and I'm always the shortest one there."

That seemed to be a slightly odd reason for skipping a party, but I didn't dwell on it. "So can you tell me how to get to the house?"

"No problem. Just ride straight until you get to a dead tree that looks like a dog standing on its hind legs, and then take a left and in ten minutes you'll be there."

"Thanks. You're a lifesaver."

"Of course I am. Have fun." With that, she disappeared into the woods, and I went on my merry way.

It was pretty hard to tell since the daylight was almost completely gone, but I was pretty sure that I reached the dead tree in about fifteen minutes, and ten minutes after that, sure enough, I was at Orome's house. Now, I don't know quite what I was expecting, but this was _not _it. For one thing, it was _really _loud. I'd kind of figured it would be like one of my dad's dinner parties—fairly quiet and dull until everyone started drinking. Apparently at this party, everyone had been drinking for a while.

Nervously, I made my way to the door, tied my horse up to a tree, and knocked. It was answered by a young guy who looked like he'd had a few.

"Name?" he said.

"Celegorm son of Feanor," I said.

"Sounds good to me. Come on in."

The first thing I did when I got inside was figure out where everything was.

Food: On the big table on the far left

Alcohol: Next to the food

Drunk people: Everywhere

Orome:  
Huh. Where was Orome? He was the only person here I knew; he had to be somewhere or I was going to be lost all evening. _Come on, dude, I need you…_

"Ah-ha, there's my favorite Tirion kid!" roared Orome from behind me (wow, I had no idea I would find him that fast). "Where've you been? You're late!"

"Um, I got lost, and then your wife helped me get here," I explained.

Orome laughed. "Yeah, I have no idea why she hates these things so much."

"She said that it was because she's always the shortest one here."

"Well, she's probably a little taller than you, so she wouldn't be the shortest one here."

"Good point." Not having anything else to say, I looked at the floor for a few minutes.

Orome, sensing the awkwardness, asked me if I'd like to meet some of his friends. I agreed, figuring that Orome's friends couldn't be _too_ annoying.

Go ahead, say it: _Yeah, right_.

Orome led me over to a group of tipsy-looking guys standing by the food. I wasn't quite sure what they were—they definitely weren't Valar, but they didn't quite look like Elves either. I had to come to the conclusion that they were Maia, or something like that.

"Well, well!" said one of them loudly. "Is this your long-lost younger brother, Orome, or have you been having an affair?"

Yep. Way more annoying that I'd been expecting.

"Neither, surprisingly enough," said Orome. "This is my friend Celegorm, from Tirion. My protégé, of sorts."

"From Tirion, eh?" said another guy. "Probably a snob, then. Isn't everyone in that city all high-and-mighty?"

"Not really…" I began, but another one of Orome's friends interrupted me.

"It's not all people in Tirion that are snobs," he said. "Just the rich ones."

"Well, that's why I say this one probably is. Does he look poor to you?"

"I guess not, but you never know…"

_That's it, I'm outta here_, I thought angrily. Honestly, did I come all this way to get made fun of by some annoying guys of an unidentified species? Not my idea of fun.

I slipped away unnoticed, stopping only to grab a couple of crackers for the road. I was _never _going to one of Orome's parties again.

I ran into Maglor as soon as I entered the house. He was sitting in the living room holding his stupid lute, AYN (I think that's what its name was).

"Dude," I said. "Are you so lame that you waited up for me?"

"I'll have you know I couldn't sleep. Anyway, how was your thing?"

"Crappy."

"How so?"

"I didn't know anyone there, and everyone was making fun of me."

"That's happened to me before," Maglor said knowingly. "Anyway, maybe this is a sign that you need some friends your own age."

"I have Romenella," I said. "Does she count?"

Maglor shrugged. "She's good enough, I guess. But maybe you could actually get some friends from your own gender, huh?"

How could I tell him that I didn't really _want _a big circle of friends? It would make me sound like a dweeb.

"Good idea," I said. "Night."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: Hey You**

**(Maedhros)**

I'd had kind of an odd feeling in my gut for the past few days, and five days after Celegorm's sneaking out of the house I realized what it was: Something was definitely up. Something big. And I was pretty sure that Maglor was involved somehow, since he'd been so sneaky for the last few days. The big problem was that I had no idea what it was, or how it would affect me.

So I started at the beginning: I talked to Maglor.

"Listen, dude," I said, entering Maglor's room unannounced (I usually don't do this, but these were extreme, or possibly extreme, circumstances). "You never did tell me where you were yesterday."

"So?" he said, frowning.

"So, I don't know, you've been acting a little weird lately. I'm sort of worried about you."

Maglor snorted. "I'm fine, _mom_."

"Dude, I'm serious, what's up? You can tell me; I won't yell at you."

"Maedhros, I don't really think this is any of your business. What I do on my own time isn't your problem."

"I thought you trusted me." I had no idea why I was pushing this so far, but it was too late to stop now. "Are you absolutely sure that you can't tell me?"

Maglor gave me a tired look. "Maedhros. This isn't about you, okay? If I tell you what's going on, I could get in a ton of trouble, and so could a lot of other people. It's just better if I don't tell you right now."

I sighed. "Fine. Oh, hey, you turn sixteen tomorrow. Congratulations on that."

"I do? Huh. I'd forgotten about that."

As soon as he said that, I knew that not only was something up, something was _seriously _wrong.

The next hour or so went something like this: I went around the house asking everyone except Mom and Dad (they were busy enough; I didn't want to worry them with something like this) if they knew what was up with Maglor. No one could help me. Not even Romenella knew what was going on, and that girl knew _everything _that was going on with Maglor. Looked like I was going to need some different help for this particular quest.

And so I decided to go talk to Andawen. She seemed like she knew a lot about what went on in Tirion; maybe she had some idea of what my brother was up to. Problem was, I had no idea where to find her. She'd never given me an address, and I didn't even know what neighborhood she lived in. She couldn't have lived on the upper North Side, because I probably would have actually known her before asking her out if she did. But Tirion's a big city, and so knowing one neighborhood that Andawen _didn't _live in wouldn't do me a whole lot of good.

Eventually I decided to head to the city square. Andawen seemed like she spent a lot of time there; hopefully either she'd be there or someone there would know where she was. And if not, I was going to go home and sleep.

The square wasn't super-crowded today, mostly because it was drizzling and kind of cold. I approached a scruffy-looking boy who appeared to be about thirteen and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, but I'm looking for a girl named Andawen who sometimes comes her," I said. "Brown hair, kind of short?"

"Andawen?" said the kid. "That's my sister. Are you her boyfriend?"

"Um…kind of," I said. "Is she here? I have to talk to her real quick."

"Yeah, she's here. Hey, Andy! Your boyfriend wants to talk to you!"

"Sheesh, Haralyo!" said Andawen, hurrying over to shut her brother up. "You don't have to yell!"

"Yes, I did. You weren't over here."

"But I wasn't that far away."

"Um," I said. "Andawen, look, I hope I'm not, like, intruding, but I really, really need your help with something."

"No problem, as long as it doesn't involve anything illegal. I've heard about what some of you rich boys get up to," said Andawen.

"Well, _I'm _definitely not doing anything illegal. But see, my brother Maglor's been acting super weird lately, and he won't tell me what's up, and he's just randomly disappearing at times and I'm really worried about him. And I know that he isn't secretly meeting a girl because he'd tell me because he's incapable of keeping his mouth shut about things like that. So I decided to ask you for help because I trust you and because you seem like the kind of person who might have heard something about what's going on. So can you help me, please?"

Andawen considered that for a moment, then nodded. "I'm not gonna say no to a dude with family trouble. So yes, I'll help. Consider me on board."

"Can I help too?" asked Haralyo.

"That depends," I said. "Are you sneaky and good at getting people to tell you things?"

He shrugged. "Kinda."

"Okay, you're in. Thanks, both of you."

"No problem," said Andawen. "So basically, what you're asking me is, have I seen or heard anything of your brother Maglor. Describe him."

"All right," I said. "Well, he's sort of medium-tallish, and very skinny, and he has reddish-brownish-blackish hair, and he's very, very loud. Oh, and he talks in abbreviations a lot of the time."

"Wait a minute," said Haralyo, frowning. "I've met him. Just, like, a week ago. He told me to call him Hotshot. That's your _brother_? He doesn't look like you."

"Did he say anything that sounded suspicious to you?" I asked.

"Not really."

"Damnit, thought we had a lead there," I muttered. "Okay, thanks anyway, kid. Andawen, you hear or see anything?"

"I personally haven't," said Andawen. "But I think I know someone that might. Come on."

A few minutes later we were on the South Side.

Being a good rich boy, I'd never actually been there before. And to be honest, it wasn't like what I'd been expecting. I'd kind of expected things to be a little more—seedy. Sure, things were kind of more dirty than I was used to, and the houses were, in general, much smaller, but other than that, everything was surprisingly normal.

I just had one question for Andawen.

"Why are we _here_?"

"This is where my friend lives," she said. "What, are you too scared to be in the slums?"

"Of course not," I sort-of-lied. "I was just curious. So who is this friend of yours?"

"He works at the Grand Hall. He knows a lot about the comings and goings of important people. Now, I could be way off, but if your brother's involved in something that he won't tell you about, it's probably something that this friend of mine would know about."

I nodded. "Makes sense." I didn't say anything else, as I was pretty sure that Andawen was a little annoyed at me and I didn't want to make it worse.

We soon arrived at a small, neat white house with a rather tangled mess of flowers and weeds growing in the front yard. Andawen confidently went up to the door and banged on it.

After a few seconds, the door was answered by a skinny, dark-haired kid that I vaguely remembered seeing around the Great Hall. I'd never really paid much attention to him, though.

"Hey, Surinen," said Andawen. "How's it going?"

"Hi, Andy. I'm okay."

Wait a minute. How come everyone else got to call her Andy? That didn't seem fair.

"Look, Surinen, here's the deal," said Andawen. "Maedhros here is pretty sure that his brother Maglor is up to something big, and I thought that maybe you'd know what's going on since you work at the Grand Hall and everyone there is up to something big. So have you heard or seen anything at all that could help us?"

"Prince Maglor?" said Surinen. "Actually, yeah. He was at the Grand Hall just a few days ago, asking questions about…wait, I don't think I'm supposed to tell you guys about that. Sorry."

"_Dude_," I said. "Come on. You have to help me out here. I'm trying to do something good for my family."

Surinen sighed. "Okay, but you can't tell anyone else about this. See, King Finwe has said that he's going to step down within, like, thirty days, and so far he's undecided about who he's going to hand the throne to, since both Feanor and Fingolfin are trying to prove each other incapable of ruling. So Prince Maglor somehow heard about this, and I don't know, I guess he's trying to do something about it. And that's all I know. Does that help?"

I stared at him for a moment.

Then I turned and ran like hell.

For the second time that day, I entered my younger brother's room unannounced. This time my entrance was considerably louder and angrier, though.

"All right, you arrogant sneak," I snarled, slamming the door behind me. "I know what you're up to, and you have a lot of explaining to do."

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Maglor coldly.

"Oh, really? That Surinen kid told me about the whole thing."

"I'm gonna _kill _him!" said Maglor angrily. "I mean, what whole thing?"

"Dude, how could you not tell me?" I said. "I thought you trusted me."

"Not this again. This has nothing to do with me trusting you, Maedhros. Do you realize what could happen if people found out about the whole Grandpa thing? There would be chaos. I can't let that happen."

"That's one of the most arrogant things I've ever heard," I said. "You think that you're the only one who's capable of handling this thing? That everyone else is just too _stupid_ to deal with it? You're incredibly self-centered."

"Oh, look who's talking!" hissed Maglor. "You've been treating me differently ever since I got home, just because you're scared that I'm going to _replace _you. That's not only self-centered, it's stupid and paranoid. I could never replace you, Maedhros. No one could replace you; you're way too popular. So can't you just be happy that people have stopped treating me like there's something horribly wrong with me? You're just as selfish as I am."

Okay, that hurt. A lot.

"If you had actually _talked _to me about this, rather than just coming in here and telling me what an AB I am—that stands for Arrogant Bastard, by the way—I might have asked for your help," Maglor continued. "Because quite frankly, I'm stuck. But you know what? I think I can do this alone."

"All right," I said, turning to leave, as I was pretty much worn out from all the fighting by this point. "Good luck, then."

"Thank you. Oh, and by the way, how'd you get Surinen to tell you everything?"

"Andawen and her brother Haralyo know him. They got him to spill."

"Wait a minute. Haralyo is Andawen's brother?" I nodded. Maglor smiled. "Well, that explains why she was so pissed at you for being weird around poor people." And he closed the door in my face.

"Wait!" I yelled to the door. "How does that explain anything?"

Maglor opened the door and rolled his eyes at me. "Sheesh, Maedhros, get a clue. Andawen and her family? They're poor as dirt."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: Take Me Out**

**(Maglor)**

I woke up at nine-thirty on the day I turned sixteen and realized that I was doomed. How doomed? Here's how doomed.

Maedhros was going to kill me for not telling him about the Grandpa thing.

Maedhros was also probably going to kill me because he was mad about Andawen not telling him she was poor.

Mom and Dad were going to kill me for eavesdropping on them and thus finding out about the Grandpa thing.

Grandpa might kill me for trying to interfere with his retirement.

And even if none of them killed me, I'd probably jump off a cliff from all the stress.

Really, it was enough to make a guy not want to get out of bed.

However, breakfast was enough to make me _want _to get out of bed, and since morning usually means breakfast, I cautiously got out of bed and got dressed, resolving to immediately return to my room if anyone made a move to stab me.

I was pleasantly surprised when, instead of anyone trying to kill me, I was greeted by Mom hugging me and crying "Sure and I can't believe yer sixteen already! I'm so _proud _of ye!"

"Um…thanks, Mom," I said. "So I'm guessing you're not mad at me for any reason?"

"Why would I be mad at ye?"

"No reason. Never mind." I looked over Mom's shoulder at Maedhros and mouthed, _You didn't tell?_

He shrugged and mouthed, _Why would I?_

I sighed with relief. So it seemed that my untimely death would not occur today.

Mom stopped hugging me, and Dad put a hand on my shoulder. "Happy Begetting Day, Maglor," he said, and then seemed to not know what else to say. "You're…a good son."

"No, I'm not," I said. "But thanks anyway. What's for breakfast?"

Breakfast was pancakes, which I had no objection to whatsoever (my mom's pancakes were one of the best things in the history of food). What I did have an objection to was the yearly ritual of my brothers hitting me repeatedly in the arm (Celegorm started this tradition and, quite frankly, I didn't get it).

"Dude," I said. "What's up with all the punching?"

Celegorm rolled his eyes. "We've been through this before, genius. You're turning sixteen; you get sixteen punches. It's to keep you humble."

"Okay, okay, I'm humbled. I'll never take any pride in surviving another year with you people again. Can I eat in peace now?"

"Let him eat," said Maedhros. "It's the last peace he'll have all day, since we're going over to Grandpa's house later."

"Oh boy, that'll be fun," I muttered. "Hanging out with a bunch of relatives who can barely remember who I am and won't want to talk to me. Woot."

"Hey, I thought you were some kind of hotshot big-time singer now," said Curufin.

"Yeah, but that's just in Alqualonde. I have no idea what I am around here."

"Well, look at it this way," said Caranthir. "No matter where you are, you're still an idiot."

"That's very touching," I said. "How long did it take you to think of that joke?"

"Puh-leaze. Everyone knows _you_ plan out your jokes hours in advance."

"Boys," said Dad, who was starting to look really pissed off. "Shut. Up."

We shut up.

Everyone headed to Grandpa's house several hours later. On the way, I had the opportunity to talk to Maedhros alone.

"Why didn't you tell?" I asked quietly (so as not to arouse the suspicions of various other family members nearby).

"Because," he said. "Like you said, this is your business. If you think that you can fix this alone, then I'm not going to mess that up for you."

I wasn't sure of that at all, but I didn't say that. Instead I just nodded. "Thanks, then."

"Well, I figured I owed you a present."

We shortly arrived at Grandpa's house, where I attempted to do my usual thing of hiding in a corner and hanging out with the cat, but unfortunately Grandpa was having none of it. His reasoning for dragging me out into the open was that I'd been gone for so long that everyone would want to see me.

"But I used to disappear for days and no one would care," I protested. "How is this any different?"

"Because you were just locked up in your bedroom those times," Celegorm put in. "This time, you actually went somewhere."

I couldn't argue with that, so I allowed myself to be dragged around the room to talk to various aunts, uncles, and cousins. Eventually I ended up talking to Uncle Fingolfin's family.

"I almost got trampled by a horse," said my eight-year-old cousin Aredhel proudly.

"That's pretty awesome," I told her. "I almost got thrown out on the street because my teacher couldn't pay his rent."

Aredhel snorted. "Big deal. You wouldn't have broken any bones."

"I might have," I said. "Those landlords throw pretty hard."

Aunt Anaire laughed. "I see you've gotten funnier since you've been gone."

"Oh, no, I was exactly this funny before I left," I said. "I just never used to talk."

"Hold on a moment," said Uncle Fingolfin, frowning. "Who's _that_?"

I turned to see who he was talking about and was greeted by the sight of my ex-teacher Amlaith, who had apparently gotten wind of the event and had decided to show up uninvited (unless my parents had actually invited him, in which case, they hadn't told me about it).

"Amlaith!" I said. "What are you doing here?"

"Your parents invited me," said Amlaith. "What, you think I'd just crash a royal party?"

"I wouldn't put it past you. Anyway, what's in the package?"

"Ah, this? It's a present from your friends in the Underground. And me, of course."

"Cheapskate," I said. "Can I open it now?"

"Not yet, you greedy kid. First I want to actually meet your parents. It'll be interesting to see if your old man's the nightmare you made him out to be."

"Don't say that so loud," I said. "There are people in this room that actually like my dad. Not many, but a few."

"Well, let's go see if I'm one of them."

Somewhat nervously, I led Amlaith over to where my parents were standing.

"Mom, Dad," I said, "this is my teacher Amlaith."

"Very nice to meet you both," said Amlaith politely. "Maglor has been an excellent student; I couldn't ask for better."

Mom smiled—apparently Amlaith had said the right thing. "We're very grateful to ye for givin' him the opportunity that ye did," she said. "Eru knows, he wasn't going to get any kind of musical training if he stayed here!"

"Yes, thank you, Amlaith," said Dad stiffly. "I rather feel like we owe you some sort of payment."

"First of all, you people already sent me enough money to pay my rent, which I'm eternally grateful for," said Amlaith. "Second of all, seeing my former student become a legend is all the payment I need."

"Wow," I said. "I feel so loved."

"Trust me, you are," said Amlaith. "Which brings us to the matter of the package. Feel free to open it now that I've had a chance to meet your charming parents."

Mom smiled at that. Dad just looked uncomfortable.

"Excellent," I said. "I'm going to go off in a corner now."

I snuck off to my usual corner with the cat and proceeded to open the package. The present itself was a black shirt with _DON'T ASSUME I FORGE STUFF _embroidered on the front. Probably Melania's idea—she was the one who usually gave me these sorts of things. But what I was more interested in was the accompanying letter.

_Dear Hotshot,_

_Hey, it's Melania. So, you're sixteen. Big whoop. It's not like you're an adult or anything. Now, I know what you're thinking: At least you're older than me. But I'll be sixteen this fall, so I'm not that far behind._

_By the way, I tried your suggestion about the marriage thing on my dad. For a second he looked like he was going to hit me, and I was really freaked out, but then he just shook his head and told me that I had better not._

_Amlaith says your parents invited him to your family's party (they should have invited all of us, huh?) and so he'll deliver this letter and your present, which you're gonna love. We all chipped in on it._

_Anyway, we all love you and congratulations._

_--Melania_

_My man Hotshot,_

_I did the curry powder thing and got fired. For which I am eternally in your debt. Now I can spend my summer doing what I originally wanted to do: nothing. Woot! My parents are pissed, but who cares?_

_Street Rat says thanks, but that he's not quite ready to kick the bucket yet. Want me to bump him off for you? Just say the word._

_Anyway, congrats on turning sixteen. Enjoy the present._

_--Skunk_

_Too Hot to Handle,_

_See that? New nickname for ya. I'll do that every time, if you want. And of course I didn't say much. Nothing ever happens to me. Oh, except this: Some Tirion girl on vacation hit on me yesterday. She was cute. I wonder if you know her…_

_ We're sending Amlaith your way, as Melania already said. Enjoy him. And I hope your family's all doing okay. Happy Begetting Day!_

_--Lucky_

_Hey Maglor,_

_I see that once again, Lucky's come up with a terrible nickname for you. GREAT JOB, LUCKY. DO YOU REALIZE HOW STUPID YOU SOUND?_

_I'm glad you're not mad that I've got a new boyfriend. I actually think you'd like him. I told him about you, and he said you sounded cool. You're both very mature people._

_Speaking of maturity, you're sixteen! Congratulations. But I'm still older than you (not by much, but still). I hope you like your present._

_--Serpentine_

I smiled, folded the letter back up, and stood up, ready to face my relatives once again.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: Killer Queen**

**(Celegorm)**

"So," said Romenella. "How was your brother's shindig?"

"_Shindig_?" I said. "I don't think I've ever heard that word before."

"It's something my mom says. I think it's funny. Maybe we should try to bring it back. Anyway, you didn't answer the question."

"It was okay. The food was pretty good. No one paid any attention to me."

"Well, were you really expecting them to? I mean, it _was _for Maglor. Plus, he's been gone for like a year, so I imagine people were pretty eager to talk to him…"

I sighed. "Can we have a conversation where we don't talk about Maglor?"

"Sorry," said Romenella guiltily. "He's just…kind of hard not to talk about."

"Romenella, I get that you like him, but try to understand how I feel. My weird brother comes back home after being gone for a year and suddenly he's a god. Don't you think that might make me feel just a _little _inadequate?"

"You shouldn't feel inadequate," said Romenella. "Maybe people don't pay as much attention to you now as they do to Maglor, but you're still a smart, funny guy. So don't worry about it, okay?"

_Then why do you like him better than me? _I thought. But I knew I shouldn't think of it like that. After all, Romenella had just complimented me. And in the end, that could only be good.

But for some reason I couldn't be happy. Romenella was still in love with Maglor, and I couldn't do anything to change it. No one could.

Or…

Maybe there _was _something I could do. Maglor was always going around plotting things and manipulating people; why couldn't I?

"Celegorm?" said Romenella, looking worried. "You have kind of a weird look on your face. What's up?"

"What? Nothing," I said. "I just remembered something that I need to take care of."

"Okay," said Romenella. "Well, before you run off and go back to whatever it is you do, want a snack?"

"I _always _want a snack," I said. "Honestly, why do you even have to ask?"

Romenella laughed. "Point taken. Help yourself."

"It's lucky that I'm friends with you," I said. "I mean, you can get me free food all the time."

"Oh, so is that why you hang out with me?" said Romenella, looking fake-offended. "You're just using me, is that it? Some friend you are. All you boys are the same."

I snorted. "Please, like you're actually mad at me. No offense, Romenella, but you're not a very good actress."

She shrugged. "Fair enough. At least I can fit forty grapes in my mouth."

"Yeah, I'm still jealous of you for that."

"You should be. I mean, it's such a useful life skill, right?"

We joked around and ate leftovers for a few more minutes, and then I made some excuse and got out of there. For once in my life, I was actually going to come up with a plan. Maybe this time things would actually work out for me.

Coming up with a plan is much harder than you might think, especially if you don't do it very often. I mean, I had no idea how to get Romenella to like me. How the hell do you convince a girl to stop liking someone she'd liked for years and like you instead? To be honest, the whole thing sounded a little too…_sleazy_ for me. Like, how fair was it to mess with someone's feelings like that?

I sighed. This was going to be a long afternoon. And to make it worse, I was going to have to be alone with my thoughts.

_Ha, you're alone with your thoughts_, I thought. _You suck so bad. Seriously, whatever happened to not wanting to get involved with Romenella because you outrank her? What the hell's your problem?_

_On the other hand, Romenella _is _really pretty. And funny. And smart. And we'd be a great couple, since we get along so well. And yet she's still wasting her time obsessing over my dumbass older brother. Hmm, maybe she's not so smart. I still like her, though. Honestly, what's it going to take for her to get over him? It's so obvious that he's not into her, but she just isn't getting it. _

_Wait._

I sat up straight. Maybe Romenella wouldn't listen to me, but there was one person that she would _definitely _listen to. And as much as I hated to owe him again, it was the only idea I had.

So I sighed, got up, and went to knock on the door of Maglor's room.

I knocked for a couple minutes, but no one answered. When I tried to open the door, it was locked. Apparently my beloved brother wasn't planning on making things easy for me today.

"Maglor!" I yelled.

"What?" said a voice from behind me. I turned around and there he was, eating a sandwich.

"Your door is locked and you're not even in your room?" I asked, exasperated.

"My door is locked?" He tried to open it. "Hmm, so it is. Interesting. Well, now that we've got that figured out, what can I do for you?"

I sighed. "Honestly, Maglor, I've lived with you for thirteen years and your stupidity still astonishes me."

"Thank you," said Maglor, bowing dramatically (not an easy feat, as he was still holding the sandwich). "But you didn't answer my question."

"Okay, fine. Look, here's the deal: I need to talk to you about Romenella."

"Romenella? Why?"

"Um…" I said. "Look, you can't make fun of me for this, but I really, really like her and for some reason she has a crush on _you_. And I know perfectly well that you don't think of her in that way, so I was wondering if you could maybe tell her that so that I might have more of a chance with her."

I waited for the rude laughter and witty insult. It didn't come.

"Sure thing, man," said Maglor, taking a bite of his sandwich. "Quite honestly, I've been thinking about doing that for a while."

"Thanks," I said, relieved. "I owe you one. Once again."

"Under normal circumstances, you would, but since this is girl trouble, I'll give you this one on the house."

"You're kidding. You _never _give help on the house."

"Didn't you just hear me? I said these are special circumstances. Now let's go get my door unlocked."

"Honestly, Maglor, there are times when I think you'd lose your own head if it wasn't attached to your shoulders," muttered Dad as he messed with Maglor's lock.

"That insult doesn't really work here, Dad. Try again," said Maglor nonchalantly.

"Occasionally, Maglor, you do things that are incredibly stupid."

"_That's _what I was looking for. Thank you. And thank you for fixing the lock."

"You're welcome. And try to remember not to lock your door unless you're actually _in the room_."

"Aw, but it's so much fun to make you drop everything you're doing and solve one of my minor problems."

Dad rolled his eyes and left, apparently unable to take anymore of this witty banter. I turned to Maglor.

"Okay, so are you going to talk to Romenella now?"

"Do what to who now?" I frowned at him. "Oh, right, talk to Romenella. Yeah, I'll do that now. Feel free to eavesdrop, although it would probably be best if you tried not to be seen."

"Eavesdrop? Who do you think I am, _you_?"

"Well, we _are_ brothers…"

"Whatever. Let's get this over with."

Maglor headed down to the kitchen, and I, at last minute, decided to follow him. As stupid as I thought eavesdropping was, I really wanted to see what Romenella would say. So I pressed my ear against the closed door of the kitchen and listened.

"Maglor!" said Romenella, sounding delighted. "What are you doing in the kitchen?"

"I wanted to talk to you, if you're not too busy," said Maglor. "It's sort of important."

"Oh, of course I'm not busy! What do you want to talk about?"

I cringed. It was really painful to listen to the girl I liked fawn over my brother.

"Look, Romenella," said Maglor. "I know you really like me…at least, that's the impression I've been getting, and you can correct me if I'm wrong."

"No, you're right," sighed Romenella. "I do like you. A lot."

"That's what I figured. But here's the deal, Romenella…man, I hate to say this, but I'm not really interested in you. It's not like there's anything wrong with you—you're really cool. I just don't think of you like that."

There was a silence.

"You…don't like me?" said Romenella, sounding like she was going to cry.

"Well, it's not that I don't _like _you, it's just that I'm not interested in you as a girlfriend."

"And…you can't give me any hope at all that you ever will be?"

Okay, she didn't sound like she was about to cry now. She sounded like she _was _crying. Damn it, why did I ever come up with this stupid plan?"

"Come on, Romenella, don't be upset…" Maglor began, but Romenella interrupted him.

"You know what?" she said. "I don't think you have any right to tell me not to be upset. I've liked you for three years now, and now you're saying 'Too bad, honey, not gonna happen.' So I'm going to be upset. I'm not going to make a huge scene or anything, but I'm going to be upset."

"Fair enough," said Maglor. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault."

Maglor exited the kitchen, looking guilty. "Was I too hard on her?" he asked me quietly.

I shook my head. "No, you were nice. That doesn't mean it wasn't hard for her to hear."

"Are you going to go talk to her?"

I didn't really want to deal with a crying girl at the moment, but on the other hand, she could probably use a friend, and so I took a deep breath and entered the kitchen. As I suspected, she was leaning over the stove and crying softly.

"Hey, Romenella," I said. "How're you holding up?"

"I'll be okay," she sniffed. "I just need to cry for a couple minutes now, if that's all right."

"Sheesh, don't ask me. Cry your eyes out if you need to."

"Thanks." She wiped her eyes. "I suppose I should have seen this coming."

"Nah, there was no way you could have. Even I didn't." Well, actually, I'd seen it coming as it had been my idea. But I didn't really foresee this much crying.

"It's just…it doesn't seem quite _fair_, you know? I mean, I've liked him for so long, and now…the whole thing's hopeless."

At that moment I realized that I couldn't tell Romenella how I really felt about her. Not for a while, at least. I would just have to wait for her to get over Maglor.

"I know. It sucks." I took a deep breath. "Romenella, you know that I'm your friend, and I care about you, and I'll always be here for you, right?"

"Yeah," she said. "I know. Thanks, Celegorm." And then she gave me a big hug.

I guess that eventually, things work out. Even if it's not quite like you planned.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18: I Wanna Be Sedated**

**(Maedhros)**

Several days had passed since Maglor had turned sixteen, and I still wasn't really talking to him. This was hard (for him as well as me, I'm sure), as arguing with my brother was something I'd become very used to over the years. But I was still angry with him for not telling me about Grandpa, and so I was going to let us both suffer a little.

I hadn't spoken to Andawen in a while either, but not for lack of trying. Every time I went to the city square to look for her, she wasn't there, and I had no idea where she lived. To be honest, this made me feel even worse than the Maglor thing. I knew _he _would eventually forgive me, but Andawen…could I really have screwed up _another _relationship that badly? (Although the thing with Rillian wasn't really my fault. But I have a tendency to blame myself for things that go wrong) Maybe I just wasn't meant to have a girlfriend.

The thing my mind kept returning to most was what Andawen said about me being sheltered. I knew that she'd been right about that. I was so used to being rich and comfortable that I never really thought about how other people lived. Not that it was really my fault how I'd been raised, but still, I'd screwed up, and I knew it.

_Maybe you should apologize,_ said my conscience. _Girls tend to like that_.

Even my conscience thinks about girls all the time. How pathetic is that?

After a few minutes of figuring out exactly what I was going to say, I took a deep breath, got up, and headed towards the South Side.

Needless to say, after a few minutes I was hopelessly lost. All the streets on the South Side kind of looked the same, and of course the fact that I had no idea where I was going made it sort of worse. Eventually, I decided to ask around to see if anyone knew where she lived (I seemed to be doing a lot of that lately).

"Excuse me, miss," I said, going up to a girl in the street who looked to be about my age. "I'm looking for a girl named Andawen…do you know where she lives?"

The girl looked me up and down and frowned. "And who are you, then?"

"I'm her…friend, Maedhros."

"_You're _Maedhros?" said the girl. She scowled at me. "Buddy, you're not welcome around here. Go back to your mansion where you don't have to worry about getting your pocket picked."

Well, that answered the question of whether or not Andawen was mad at me. But I wasn't going to give up just yet.

"Look, I'm here to apologize to her," I said. "Can you please tell me where to find her?"

She sighed. "Fine, but don't expect too much. Andawen's not exactly happy with you right now."

"That's all right, I can deal with it. Just tell me where her house is."

"Okay, just go down this street, turn left at the end of the block, and her house is the fourth one on the right. You can't miss it; it's the one with the huge garden."

"Thanks." I turned and hurried down the block.

The girl had been right; Andawen's house _did _have a huge garden. It pretty much took up every inch of free space around the house, and even took up a lot of their porch. _No wonder she said her parents are stressed, _I thought. _Taking care of this garden must eat up like half of every day._

I boldly crossed the porch (being careful not to step on any plants) and knocked on the door.

No one answered. So I tried again. Again, no answer. I was about to give up when someone called "In the garden!" from the back of the house.

Around to the back I went, and sure enough, there was Andawen weeding yet another section of her huge garden.

"Hey, Andawen," I said. "It's me."

She looked up and frowned. "Maedhros. What are you doing here?"

"I came to apologize," I said.

"Um, Maedhros, this isn't the best time…"

"Look, Andawen, I know you're mad at me. I'd be mad at me too. I've been a horrible, arrogant rich boy, and I kept jumping to conclusions about people—including you. That's why you wouldn't tell me you were poor, right? Because you thought I'd judge you?"

"Pretty much."

"Okay, yeah, you were probably right about that. You were right about me being sheltered, too. But Andawen, I really like you. I don't care that you're poor. You're a really great girl, and…I'm sorry I pissed you off."

"Wow," said Andawen. "That was a real speech, that was. What did you think of that, Mom?"

Andawen's mother—who had apparently been bent over weeding in another corner of the garden the entire time—stood up and smiled. "I like this boy, Andawen."

"That was embarrassing," I remarked a few minutes later, when Andawen's mother had gone inside.

"Yeah, that's why it wasn't the best time," laughed Andawen. "It's okay, she's pretty cool about this sort of thing."

"What, do guys come into your garden and apologize profusely to you all the time?"

"Not exactly, no." She shook her head. "Maedhros, what are we going to do about this?"

"Can't we go back to how we were before?" I asked. "Now that I know exactly what's going on with you, we'll probably get along a lot better."

"It's not quite that simple. I do like you, Maedhros, but I'm still pretty mad at you. I mean, whenever I was around you, I felt kind of embarrassed about being who I was. That's not what I want in a relationship. Plus, would your parents really approve of you going out with me? After all, I'm _poor_."

"Wait a minute," I said. "Are you…breaking up with me?" My voice cracked at the end of the sentence.

She paused for a moment. "No," she said finally. "I was going to, but honestly, I don't think I can."

I sighed with relief. "So what are we going to do?"

"Hmm," said Andawen. "If we can't go on like this, and if we can't just break up, maybe we can…start over?"

"That works," I said, and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek (I would have been a little more romantic than that, but I was worried that her mother was still hanging around nearby). "So. Do you want to get lunch in the square sometime? I promise I won't get freaked out this time."

Andawen grinned. "I'll hold you to that."

"You look happy," commented Maglor when I got home.

"You don't," I said. I knew that technically I wasn't speaking to him, but I was in too good of a mood to be mad at anyone.

"Ah, I'm still feeling a little guilty about the Romenella thing." I'd heard about how Maglor had had to tell Romenella that he didn't want to go out with her, and I thought he'd actually handled it very well.

"Don't. You did what you had to do, and she'll get over it."

"I guess. So what's with you?"

"I made up with Andawen. She was planning on breaking up with me, but she told me she couldn't."

Maglor snorted. "Yeah, that's a relationship that's gonna last."

"Well, maybe it won't. But you know what? I don't honestly care right now."

"That's always good. Wait a minute, why are you talking to me? I thought we were mad at each other."

"Meh, I got bored with that. To be honest, my life isn't much fun when we're not talking to each other."

"Yeah, same with me," Maglor laughed. "So, since we're on speaking terms again, could you see your way clear to…"

"Helping you figure out what to do with Grandpa? Done and done," I said. "Let's go to your room and plan."

"Okay, so here's what I know," said Maglor once we were in his room. "Grandpa's retiring."

"Really? I had no idea."

"Shut up. He's retiring in fifteen days, but there's a meeting in five days to decide who's going to be the next king. The choice is between Dad and Uncle Fingolfin, who are each going to try to prove that the other is unfit to rule."

"So wait," I said. "Whose side are we on?"

"I don't know about _you_, but I'm on neither's side. Grandpa's a good king, and I don't want him to step down. Plus, no matter who becomes king, Dad and Uncle Fngolfin are still going to be trying to sabotage each other, and seriously, who wants that? So I figure I'll try to convince him not to step down at all. But I'm not quite sure how to do that."

"Well," I said thoughtfully, "I suppose we could just try to convince him that neither Dad nor Uncle Fingolfin is fit to rule."

"Excellent. See, I knew I'd be able to figure this out if you helped me."

"Wait. Are you sure we can pull that off?"

"Why the hell not? You're smart, and I'm excellent at manipulating people. Plus, all we have to do is convince Grandpa and his advisors that a pair of arrogant snobs aren't fit to be king. That can't be that hard."

"Good point. And anyway, we've got five days to figure out the details."

"Damn right we do," said Maglor. "Want to meet up tomorrow and continue this discussion?"

"Sure," I said, getting up to go. "I'll be there. But you owe me one."


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19: Unsung**

**(Maglor)**

I can't deny that I was a little nervous.

Really, though, I had several good reasons. First of all, I was just some punk sixteen-year-old kid, and even Maedhros wasn't that much better. What chance was there that we could convince Grandpa and the entire council that Dad and Uncle Fingolfin weren't fit to rule? And if we succeeded, neither of them would ever forgive us (well, Uncle Fingolfin might, but even he probably wouldn't freak out with joy). I'd been getting along better with Dad lately…did I really want to ruin that?

_Oh, come on_, said my brain. _You and Dad getting along? That upsets the natural order of the universe. You should be freaking grateful that an opportunity to set things right has come along._

While my brain and I don't always get along, I had to admit that this time it was probably right. So I stopped worrying about whether or not Dad would kill me and instead started worrying about whether or not I would succeed.

The day of the meeting, Maedhros and I both got up really early (by which I mean six o' clock) and made our way down to the Grand Hall. Surinen frowned when he saw us.

"What are you two doing here?" he asked suspiciously.

"We're gonna burn down the place," I said. "Want to help?"

"You're hilarious, Maglor," said Maedhros. "Actually, we're here because we're going to try to convince our grandpa not to step down."

"I'm not sure which one of those is worse," said Surinen.

"Well, I'm sure burning down the Grand Hall would cause a lot less trouble," I said, "but let's face it; it would be a hell of a lot messier. Can we come in?"

"I guess. But if you two destroy our government from the inside out don't tell anyone I had any part in this."

"I don't really think that convincing a perfectly competent person to stay king is going to destroy the government from the inside out," said Maedhros. "But don't worry, we won't tell anyone about the extremely small part you played."

"If you pay us enough," I couldn't help adding. Maedhros frowned at me. "What? I'm kidding."

"This is kind of a bad time to joke around."

"Oh, I beg to differ. There is never a bad time to joke around."

"Um, you guys?" said Surinen. "Are you just going to stand around and argue, or are you going to actually do anything?"

Oh, right. We were here to do something. I'd briefly forgotten about that.

"Good point. Let's go, Maglor," said Maedhros, half-pulling me into the building.

"Ok," I said once we were in the entrance hall. "What's our plan? My idea is to wander around aimlessly until we figure out where we're going, but I'm open to suggestions."

"Luckily, we don't have to wander around aimlessly. See, I've actually been here before, so I know where we're going."

"Geek."

"That may be, but at least I'm useful. Basically, what we need to do is, go down this hallway and take a left, and we'll be there."

I snorted. "Sure, it's quick, but where's the fun?"

"Maglor, I love you, but there are times when I have a lot of trouble not punching you in the head."

"Ah, if I had a penny for every time I heard that," I said. "Okay, we'll do this your way."

When we got to the main meeting hall, no one was there except a few flies that had gotten in the window. I considered asking them if they knew when the meeting was going to start, but I didn't think they'd be much help.

Face it, I'm kind of weird. Okay?

"What do we do now?" I asked Maedhros.

"Duh," he said. "We wait."

"Oh, excellent." I suck at waiting. "Um…want to play 'I Spy'?"

"I Spy" was a game Dad had made up when he was a kid. It was kind of stupid, but an excellent time-waster.

Maedhros rolled his eyes. "Fine. I spy something white."

"The walls."

"Yep. You're a genius."

"How true. I spy something…black."

"Your shirt."

"Nope."

"Your pants."

"Nope."

"Any other item of clothing you happen to be wearing."

"Nope."

"One of the flies."

"I'm pretty sure the flies are gray."

"I give up."

"Ha! It's the speck of dirt near your shoe."

"Dear Gods, Maglor," said Maedhros, shaking his head. "How can you stand to be around yourself and not want to strangle yourself?"

"I have a surprising amount of self-control," I said. "Anyway, back to the game."

"I spy something boring."

"This room."

"Yep."

"_I _spy two boys who shouldn't be here."

We both turned around and were extremely surprised to see Grandpa entering the meeting hall.

"Hello, Grandpa," said Maedhros. "You're here early."

"Well, I am the king, after all. I suppose I _should _get here earlier than the others."

I didn't say anything during this exchange, as I was busy compiling a quick list in my head.

We were here early.

Grandpa was here early.

Dad and Uncle Fingolfin were not here.

If we made our case to Grandpa now, neither of the potential kings would ever need to know that Maedhros and I were involved.

We had better act _now_.

"So why are _you _two here?" asked Grandpa.

Before Maedhros could do anything, I stepped forward and said, "We're here to convince you not to retire."

"Nice, Maglor," said Maedhros. "Real subtle."

Grandpa frowned. "Why would you be interested in that?"

"Why _wouldn't _we be interested?" I said. "This doesn't just affect you and Dad and Uncle Fingolfin. This affects everyone in Tirion. Including us. So of course we had to get involved."

"Well, it's good that you care so much about this, but my mind is already basically made up…"

"Made up, shmade up," I said. "If you haven't changed your mind by the end of this argument I'll eat my boots." I was kind of beginning to enjoy this, actually. Yes, it's evil, but I have a lot of fun getting people to do what I want.

"I'm not quite sure that I share your confidence, but go ahead."

"Well, my first argument would be that you're an excellent king, and that you don't have any reason to step down."

"Yeah, Grandpa, why are you retiring in the first place?" asked Maedhros. "You're a great king. You've done so much for Tirion…the city would be utter crap without you. Everyone likes you. Why would you consider stepping down?"

"When you're older, Maedhros, you'll understand that being in a position of power is very stressful," said Grandpa. "I'm barely ever able to spend time with my family, and to be perfectly honest I've begun to wonder whether or not Tirion still needs me."

"Do you honestly have to ask that?" I said. "Of course Tirion still needs you. And, more importantly, Tirion definitely _doesn't _need to have your kids fighting it out any more than they already are. Honestly, Grandpa, we know our dad better than pretty much anyone, and we know how he and Uncle Fingolfin feel about each other. They're _constantly _trying to sabotage each other."

"And if one of them became king, it would get even worse," Maedhros put in. "After all, then you'd have jealousy in the mix, too."

"Exactly. Can you imagine the effect that would have on our government? Nothing would ever get done if Dad and Uncle Fingolfin were constantly trying to outdo each other. Everything would be a mess. Do you really want that to happen?"

"Don't you think you might be overreacting?" said Grandpa.

I shrugged. "We might be, a little. Do you want to take that risk?"

"Just think about this, okay?" said Maedhros. "We had better leave; I hear people coming. And if you didn't tell anyone we were involved in this, we'd appreciate it."

"Of course," said Grandpa, nodding. "This conversation never happened."

We managed to sneak out just before Dad came in.


	20. Chapter 20

**Epilogue: Crossroads**

**(Celegorm)**

Something was definitely going on with my two oldest brothers. I knew this because all day they'd been glancing at the clock and asking Mom every ten minutes if she knew when Dad would be home. Normally, neither one of them would notice if Dad went missing for a year, so the only logical conclusion was that they were up to something. So right after lunch, I decided to ask them about it.

"Hey, Maglor," I said. "What are you guys up to?"

"None of your business," said Maglor. "_Shit_! I pretty much just gave it away that we _are _up to something, didn't I."

"Yes, you did," said Maedhros. "Way to go, genius."

"Well, should I tell him now? If I don't he's probably going to bug us about it all day."

"Okay, but Celegorm, you have to promise that you won't tell _anyone _about this, okay?"

"And if you do," said Maglor in his creepiest voice, "I'll tell everyone the girl you have a crush on."

"Oh, I already know that," said Maedhros. "Blackmail him about something else."

"Sure, you and I know, but no one else does. Anyway. Celegorm, do you promise not to tell?"

"Sure," I said. "Why not."

"Okay, so here's the deal. Grandpa decided last month that he was going to retire, which would mean that he would have to pick either Dad or Uncle Fingolfin as his successor. I didn't really think that either of them becoming king at this point would really be a good thing, so I got Maedhros to help me convince Grandpa not to retire. And now we're waiting for Dad to get home from the meeting so we can figure out if Grandpa followed our advice. Dad has absolutely no idea that we were involved, so you can see why it's so important that we keep this whole thing a secret."

I was torn between two emotions: shock at the Grandpa thing, and annoyance that no one had told me before this.

"Wow," I said. "You guys are manipulative bastards."

"How true," said Maedhros. "Hell, we could probably do this professionally."

Maglor snorted. "I could. You couldn't."

"Excuse me, but I did at least half the work."

"First of all, you totally didn't. Second of all, we'll have to see if it worked, now won't we? If our plan failed, then you get half the blame."

"Are you guys sure you should be talking about this so loud?" I asked. "What if someone hears you?"

"Meh, no one's gonna hear us," said Maglor. "And if they do, I'll just blackmail them into not telling them. I love blackmailing people."

"Seriously," I said to Maedhros. "If he's the least evil person in our family, what does that say about the rest of us?"

"Blackmail's not evil," protested Maglor. "It's one of the cornerstones of our society. People have been blackmailing each other for years."

Fortunately, this conversation was effectively ended by Dad walking in the front door looking annoyed.

"Dad!" said Maedhros and Maglor at the same time, jumping to their feet. I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing.

"Um…how did the meeting go?" asked Maedhros.

"Not well," said Dad.

"Did…um…" Apparently Maedhros couldn't find a way to ask about Grandpa without giving everything away, and so shut up.

"Is Grandpa retiring?" Maglor blurted out.

Dad frowned. "How did you know about that?"

"We've…heard rumors," Maglor covered up quickly. "So what's the deal?"

"If I tell you this, you're not allowed to tell any of your brothers," said Dad. Apparently he'd forgotten that I was there.

"We won't," said Maedhros.

"All right." Dad sighed. "Your grandpa has decided that it would be better for him not to retire. He says that he feels like Tirion can still use his leadership, and he also feels like neither your uncle nor I have enough experience to be king. Honestly, he treats us like kids…"

Dad left the room, still muttering. Maglor and Maedhros waited until he was completely gone, and then high-fived.

"We did it!" whooped Maedhros. "Your dirty rotten punk, we did it!"

"Amazing how even when we're extremely happy, you still manage to insult me," said Maglor. "But yes, we did it. We're excellent. Now let us never speak of this again."

Maedhros nodded. "Agreed."

They left, and I went down to the kitchen.

"You know, it's weird," I said to Romenella. "Maedhros and Maglor don't talk for like two weeks. Then they talk to each other but no one else for almost another week. Now they're suddenly back to normal. I have the weirdest brothers in the history of the universe."

"Yeah, I'm lucky I just have a sister," said Romenella.

"Sometimes I think life would have been easier if I'd just been an only child," I said. "I mean, my brothers never give me _any _peace! I'm always having to babysit the younger ones, and avoid the older ones so that they don't beat me up or blackmail me. Why couldn't my parents have quit when they were ahead?"

"I think you know the answer to that as well as I do," said Romenella. "Don't think about it too much. But you can't fool me, Celegorm."

"I can't?"

"No. You love your brothers. You'd be miserable without them. I know they piss you off, but I don't think you care about anything more than you care about them. I kind of wish I loved my sister that much."

"Maybe if your sister stopped making any kind of sense whatsoever," I said. "But yeah, you're probably right, I do love my brothers. I just wish they were easier to get along with."

"Well, they're your siblings," said Romenella. "You can't get along with them all the time. And hey, at least you and Maglor are getting along all right these days."

"Yeah, isn't that weird?" I said. "I thought he was going to come back and ruin everything, and he really didn't. Sure, things are different now, but they're not exactly worse."

"Know what that means?" said Romenella. "That means you overreact a lot. But hey, summer's halfway over; he's still got time to ruin everything."

"I doubt he's going to, though. Maglor's got better things to worry about than ruining my life. Like becoming famous, and world domination, not necessarily in that order."

"Yep," sighed Romenella wistfully. I frowned.

"You're still not over him, are you."

"Not yet. That's probably going to take a while."

"I understand. Well, let me know if you start to like anyone new. I'm sure I can threaten him into asking you out."

Romenella laughed and patted me on the back. "Thanks. You're a good friend."

"The best you'll ever have, and if that doesn't depress you you're a braver person than I am," I said. "I'm gonna go outside now."

"Want something to eat first?"

"Are you _kidding_?" I cried. "Summer's halfway over, woman! I don't have _time _to eat! I'm going hunting!"

And with that, I ran out of the kitchen and went to go have some fun for once.

**The End**


End file.
